Installing Love (spiritual humor)

[Guest guest]

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

 

Customer: I can do that. I am not very technical, but I think I am

ready to install now. What do I do first?

 

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your

Heart?

 

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right

now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

 

Service: What programs are running?

 

Customer: Let me see. I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe

and Resentment.com running right now.

 

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from

your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent

memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will

eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe with a module of its own, called

Highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe

and Resentment.com. Those programs prevent Love from being properly

installed. Can you turn those off?

 

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

 

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke

Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe

and Resentment.com have been completely erased.

 

Customer: Okay, I am done. Love has started installing itself

automatically. Is that normal?

 

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will

reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?

 

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

 

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You

need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.

 

Customer: Oops' I have an error message already. What should I do?

 

Service: What does the message say?

 

Customer: It says " Error 412 " Program not run on internal components.

What does that mean?

 

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love

program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been

running on your Heart. It is one of those complicated programming

things, but in non-technical terms it means that you have to " love "

your own machine before it can " love " others.

 

Customer: So what should I do?

 

Service: Can you find the directory called " Self-acceptance " ?

 

Customer: Yes, I have it.

 

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

 

Customer: Thank you.

 

Service: You are welcome. Click on the following files and then copy

them to the " Myheart " directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt,

Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite

conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also,

you need to delete 'Selfcriticize.exe " from all directories, and then

empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone

and never comes back.

 

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files.

Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that

Warmth.com, Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all

over my Heart!

 

Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to

handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

 

Customer: Yes?

 

Service: Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules

to everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it with other

people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

 

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

 

Service: You are very welcome.