Guest guest Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Blessings, I've just returned from the Boston retreat with Amma. This was my very first time meeting Amma or attending any of her events. It was a wonderful experience but I also had plenty of emotional issues come up. After my first darshan instead of feeling happy I found that I was filled with a feeling of rejection. When I awoke in the morning I was filled with anger and felt as if I didn't want to be at the retreat and questioned my coming there. After spending some time feeling my anger I made myself get up and get involved in retreat activities. I found that the second day with Amma was a wonderful experience and my second darshan was gentle and loving. I noticed gradually that as I continued to receive darshan I felt more of Amma's loving embrace. Over all it was a great experience with painful moments which I do know is part of the process for me in my healing. I did have one question to post to the group. I was very much looking forward to Devi Bhava and receiving a mantra from her. As I got closer to her my excitement grew and I was ready to ask for a mantra. However, as weird as it may sound once I was in front of her my mind was blank and nothing came out. It was like I had no speech and so never ended up asking for a mantra. As I walked away I felt angry with myself and yet somehow I felt as though I wasn't ready for a mantra. Does this sound normal? Has anyone else ever had this experience? I have experience working with mantras and have done so in the past. I did take the IAM meditation course which I will definitely do daily but somehow I worry that by not asking for a mantra I won't be as close to Amma and that I lost a great opportunity. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I would really appreciate your thoughts or feelings on what happened. In Light and Love, Stacey _______________ http://newlivehotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Namah Sivaya! Dear Stacey, i can relate to going blank in front of Her. It happened to me many times in the beginning, sometimes even now, but not so much. When i first met Amma, i was so overwhelmed by Her presence alone that yes, i had a hard time focusing on anything else! She'll do that to us! Don't be so hard on yourself....i can relate to that one too....Everything in the Guru's presence is exactly as it should be. It is all Her leela (play). I promise you that you are not further away from Her because you don't have a mantra. That is your mind. Just having that longing alone to be close to Her...brings you right into Her arms. If you want to chant a mantra...She suggests chanting ma ma ma.....the essence of the Mother in this simple chant.....chant with your heart open and with Faith that She hears you and is with you...that is all you need to do.....it is most important where are hearts are at, rather than the words we say....She hears our hearts whispers and cries.... In Love and Light, namrata > " Stacey Rossignol " <Chamunda77 >Ammachi >Ammachi > First Meeting with Amma >Thu, 19 Jul 2007 08:09:33 -0400 > >Blessings, > >I've just returned from the Boston retreat with Amma. This was my very >first time meeting Amma or attending any of her events. It was a wonderful >experience but I also had plenty of emotional issues come up. After my >first darshan instead of feeling happy I found that I was filled with a >feeling of rejection. When I awoke in the morning I was filled with anger >and felt as if I didn't want to be at the retreat and questioned my coming >there. After spending some time feeling my anger I made myself get up and >get involved in retreat activities. I found that the second day with Amma >was a wonderful experience and my second darshan was gentle and loving. I >noticed gradually that as I continued to receive darshan I felt more of >Amma's loving embrace. Over all it was a great experience with painful >moments which I do know is part of the process for me in my healing. > >I did have one question to post to the group. I was very much looking >forward to Devi Bhava and receiving a mantra from her. As I got closer to >her my excitement grew and I was ready to ask for a mantra. However, as >weird as it may sound once I was in front of her my mind was blank and >nothing came out. It was like I had no speech and so never ended up asking >for a mantra. As I walked away I felt angry with myself and yet somehow I >felt as though I wasn't ready for a mantra. Does this sound normal? Has >anyone else ever had this experience? I have experience working with >mantras and have done so in the past. I did take the IAM meditation course >which I will definitely do daily but somehow I worry that by not asking for >a mantra I won't be as close to Amma and that I lost a great opportunity. >Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I would really appreciate your >thoughts or feelings on what happened. > >In Light and Love, >Stacey > >_______________ >http://newlivehotmail.com > _______________ http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Dear Stacey, Others have had experiences around Amma like the one you described. Perhaps there is another means by which you will receive your mantra, if you so desire and require it? I wouldn't worry. Perhaps there is a more direct way? It is said that the Names are not different from the Lord Himself. P. Ammachi , " Stacey Rossignol " <Chamunda77 wrote: > > Blessings, > > I've just returned from the Boston retreat with Amma. This was my very > first time meeting Amma or attending any of her events. It was a wonderful > experience but I also had plenty of emotional issues come up. After my > first darshan instead of feeling happy I found that I was filled with a > feeling of rejection. When I awoke in the morning I was filled with anger > and felt as if I didn't want to be at the retreat and questioned my coming > there. After spending some time feeling my anger I made myself get up and > get involved in retreat activities. I found that the second day with Amma > was a wonderful experience and my second darshan was gentle and loving. I > noticed gradually that as I continued to receive darshan I felt more of > Amma's loving embrace. Over all it was a great experience with painful > moments which I do know is part of the process for me in my healing. > > I did have one question to post to the group. I was very much looking > forward to Devi Bhava and receiving a mantra from her. As I got closer to > her my excitement grew and I was ready to ask for a mantra. However, as > weird as it may sound once I was in front of her my mind was blank and > nothing came out. It was like I had no speech and so never ended up asking > for a mantra. As I walked away I felt angry with myself and yet somehow I > felt as though I wasn't ready for a mantra. Does this sound normal? Has > anyone else ever had this experience? I have experience working with > mantras and have done so in the past. I did take the IAM meditation course > which I will definitely do daily but somehow I worry that by not asking for > a mantra I won't be as close to Amma and that I lost a great opportunity. > Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I would really appreciate your > thoughts or feelings on what happened. > > In Light and Love, > Stacey > > _______________ > http://newlivehotmail.com > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Dear Stacey , Lol , it took me over six year to figure out if I want mantra from Amma , uff finally this year I asked however there was a reason for the wait I can perfectly understand now why its rather personal and I rather not posted it on web but trust me in the right moment at the right time if it is meant to happen Your heart will open up for it . Best of luck Amma is with You with or without mantra dear . joanna > > Dear Stacey, > > Others have had experiences around Amma like the one you described. > Perhaps there is another means by which you will receive your mantra, > if you so desire and require it? I wouldn't worry. Perhaps there is > a more direct way? It is said that the Names are not different from > the Lord Himself. > > P. > > > > > Ammachi , " Stacey Rossignol " <Chamunda77@> wrote: > > > > Blessings, > > > > I've just returned from the Boston retreat with Amma. This was my very > > first time meeting Amma or attending any of her events. It was a > wonderful > > experience but I also had plenty of emotional issues come up. After my > > first darshan instead of feeling happy I found that I was filled with a > > feeling of rejection. When I awoke in the morning I was filled with > anger > > and felt as if I didn't want to be at the retreat and questioned my > coming > > there. After spending some time feeling my anger I made myself get > up and > > get involved in retreat activities. I found that the second day > with Amma > > was a wonderful experience and my second darshan was gentle and > loving. I > > noticed gradually that as I continued to receive darshan I felt more of > > Amma's loving embrace. Over all it was a great experience with painful > > moments which I do know is part of the process for me in my healing. > > > > I did have one question to post to the group. I was very much looking > > forward to Devi Bhava and receiving a mantra from her. As I got > closer to > > her my excitement grew and I was ready to ask for a mantra. > However, as > > weird as it may sound once I was in front of her my mind was blank and > > nothing came out. It was like I had no speech and so never ended up > asking > > for a mantra. As I walked away I felt angry with myself and yet > somehow I > > felt as though I wasn't ready for a mantra. Does this sound normal? > Has > > anyone else ever had this experience? I have experience working with > > mantras and have done so in the past. I did take the IAM meditation > course > > which I will definitely do daily but somehow I worry that by not > asking for > > a mantra I won't be as close to Amma and that I lost a great > opportunity. > > Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I would really appreciate your > > thoughts or feelings on what happened. > > > > In Light and Love, > > Stacey > > > > _______________ > > http://newlivehotmail.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who responded to my email. It made me feel much better, like I wasn't having some odd ball experience. I do understand now that I am where I need to be and that Amma is always with me of course. Thank you again for your kind words and insight. In Love and Light, Stacey _______________ http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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