to Pranada about archana difficulties

[Guest guest]

Dear Pranada thank you so much for your thoughtful response to my post.

Sometimes I do feel not (good, well, okay) enough, and that does have a

tendency to stop me. Interestingly, after I wrote the post to the group, I have

been waking at 4:45 every morning. I think Amma is helping me out. : )

 

When I sit down for archana, I thank Amma for the privilege of spending

time with her. I do chant out loud because David is in the other room asleep,

but I chant softly, and if I am having difficulty with my voice, I chant

silently. Unfortunately, because of my knee replacement surgery, I can't sit

or kneel in front of my altar. Recently I was crouching down and I fell

over. I almost couldn't get up again ... more leela for me ~ oh, I can't

kneel, so I can't pray ~ even I don't take that one seriously. And I don't

think

David would really mind if I chanted with him around, I just prefer the

privacy, but you are right, I have to put that excuse away.

 

Again, my heartfelt thanks ~ Linda

 

 

Pranada wrote:

 

What I do or don't do (and I'm pretty bad about sleeping in) may not be of

use to you, as the situation you've described is fairly specific.

 

First, the waking time. Is there some reason you can't (or feel you can't)

scale back to 5am again? Are you being kept up late at night, or not

getting

enough rest? Or being hard on yourself?

I have found for myself that, though it seems a small thing, replacing the

synthetic comforter on my bed with a simple, affordable down duvet (thank

you, IKEA) has allowed me to feel much, much better rested (even if I'm

only

getting 5 hours of sleep). I think the vibrations from the synthetic

material can be somewhat agitating, which affects the quality of rest.

Maybe

this will be relevant for you too.

 

Second, the placement of the altar. If it is not in a place where you can

comfortably sit and move it, why not? There is no point in positioning God

where you cannot access Him/Her. It's rather symbolic, isn't it? Move the

altar or, if this simply is not possible, set up another one where you can

be comfortable.

 

Third, the privacy. Is it harmful or disruptive to your husband if you

chant

audibly? Has he communicated to you that he does not like or approve of it?

Does he understand how important it is to you? Is this a self-consciousness

issue or a genuine concern about disruption? What if you invested in one of

those folding screens to temporarily wall off part of the large living

space

- would that help?

 

If chanting silently feels expansive to you, then go for it. I find that I

do not yet have the steadiness of mind to get benefit from silent chanting

the way I get from chanting aloud - my mind wanders, I lose my place, I do

not feel the same degree of Shakti. But that's still better than not doing

archana at all.

 

 

I think we have to be careful as spiritual aspirants with the obstacles

placed or imagined in the way of our sadhana. The tendency to think " oh,

I've missed my window and now I can't do it because x, and y, and z " is

trickiness. We wouldn't skip breakfast just because we've slept a little

late, or because we're out of our favorite cereal. There is still a need

for

food, and therefore we find the opportunity and we make it work. The more

we

" go for it " in our spiritual practices even when we feel we've " missed the

window " , the more we develop the muscle of awareness and the easier it will

be to get up earlier and enjoy the benefits of unrushed practice. The voice

that says things like " I can't, I missed the window, it won't be the same

now, I don't want to be a bother, I'm not worthy, etc " is a sorry story,

not

the Self.

 

What if Amma were waiting for us every morning with Her arms open wide and

Her eyes full of compassion? Would we not run to Her even if our hair

wasn't

brushed and we'd only got one sock on and we were out of milk for coffee

and

the laundry hadn't been folded?

 

And is it not so in our sadhana? This is our time to sit with Amma who is

waiting for us with tremendous love and joy and compassion - and never

judgment. This is our time to run to Her who is holding Her arms out wide.

In such occasions, the minor details are not that important, are they? It

isn't about " getting it right " . It's about enjoying the nectar of Her

embrace.

 

Enjoy your morning time with Amma. Drink it in.