Her Life was a Song Well Sung

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Forwarded is an article posted by Sis Seema Karki :- CONTENTS | ARCHIVES | ANNOUNCEMENTS | CONTACT INFO | ABOUT US previous article next article Her Life was a Song Well Sung The lessons I learnt from my wife, Kathy Feely by Dr. Jack Feely, USA Region 4Young Adult Male

Advisor "First Be, then Do, then Tell." - Sathya Sai Baba Swami tells us what

we are in every

discourse He gives when He addresses us as "Embodiments of Love." He has also told us, "Women earn renown from what they do; men from what they desist from doing." (Sathya

Sai Speaks XI, 54). Kathy Feely was truly an embodiment of the Love

that flowed outward towards everyone she encountered in her life. She

channeled that Love and directed it through her faith, intelligence and

dedication as her life became His message during the 41 years that she

lived. She benefited from that Love as she died. Swami tells us, "First be." Kathy was Love, just as we all are. But she had a constant and deep awareness of that truth. He said, "Then do."

She expressed the Love that she was by what she did and how she did it.

She taught 1st and 3rd grades in Milwaukee and St. Louis with a genuine

love that impacted students, parents and colleagues. Her students

recently dedicated a "Peace Garden"

in Kathy's memory and to express their gratitude to her for teaching

them about "the love in our hearts." She continued "doing" through her

public duties as Regional President and National Council Secretary of

the Sathya Sai Baba Organization of America, and Chair of the Board for

the National Education in Human Values Elementary Committee. She

expressed who she was, in countless private activities that very few

people ever knew about, including weekly tutoring of inner city

children through Mother Theresa's Missionaries of Charity, and forming

a community service club with her school students where they visited

nursing homes weekly. What Kathy did not do was "tell" about herself.

For this reason I would like to share some of Kathy with you. Kathy

was my wife and closest friend for over 7 years until she died of

lymphoma on May 10, 2002. I might add that she was also the best

teacher of Swami's message

I have ever known. She taught not just by how she lived, but also by

how she died. During the 14 months since she was diagnosed, Kathy did

not complain one time. She went through this journey courageously and

with unwavering faith in our Lord. From the beginning she believed that

this condition was a gift from God, one designed to help her learn

something. She believed that everything in her life, whether pleasant

or unpleasant, was a gift from God for her benefit. She did not pray

that Swami heal her of the cancer, since she told me often that

everything He gave her was for her own good and out of His love. "Why

would I ask Him to take away what He gave me?" she told me. Rather, she

prayed that He would give her the courage to go through that ordeal in

a way that would please Him, and enable her to learn what He wanted her

to learn. Kathy often told me that she lived a "fairy-tale" life because she had

"the best family, the best job in the best school, the best home, the best dog, the best husband." When I corrected her and said I can't be the best husband, she corrected me and said, "You are the best husband for me."

She truly believed that everything that came into her life was there

for the best reason sent by our Loving Swami. With that conviction

strongly held in her heart, she approached everything, even her

diagnosis, with joy and courage. As her illness progressed, her faith

and peace seemed to increase. She shared what she was learning from

this journey when she spoke at Swami's Birthday celebration in St.

Louis last year. During her presentation even as the symptoms of the

cancer were progressing, Kathy talked about how to "STAY" with faith in

God regardless of the circumstances. "S" stands for total "Surrender"

to the Lord. Then comes "T" for "Trust" that God to whom we surrender

takes care of everything. We do our part and trust that He will do

His part. Next

comes "A" because once we give Him our trust, we must "Accept" what he

is choosing for us no matter what the outcome. And finally "Y" stands

for "Yes, yes, yes," not "Why, why, why." Kathy recalled hearing

devotees in darshan ask for things when Swami passed by. He would

lovingly say "Yes, yes, yes" to them. With that attitude she accepted

the final outcome of her illness and said "Yes, yes, yes" to Him. Kathy's

faith in God never wavered. She felt surrounded by His love and by the

love and support of devotees and friends who visited and called and

sent cards and flowers. The only times she shed tears were tears of joy

that He was taking such good care of us during this journey, or tears

of sorrow for other people who were sick and alone and did not have the

love she felt surrounded by. A

couple of weeks before Kathy died I was helping her with something. I

suggested that if she did it a certain way it would be easier. She

looked at me and very sweetly said, "Jack, easy is not my goal." Throughout her life, "easy" was never her goal. When I read the words of Swami: "Women earn renown from what they do,"

I imagine adding "and how they do it." Kathy did so much in her 41

years but the quality and love with which she did them added

immeasurably to those years. I

remember long ago, before I met Kathy, when I was a newcomer to Sai

Baba. I felt so much enthusiasm and joy and privilege to know of the

Avatar. How blessed I felt to be so honored to be one of the few He

called to be aware of His presence here on earth. Like many others when

they first come to Swami, I could hardly contain my excitement. And

like many others, in time I

grew to take this honor too much for granted. Kathy never took the gift

of Sai for granted. She was always the "newcomer" in her excitement and

honor to be one of His devotees. She was a devotee for over 20 years,

and the gratitude and honor she felt over the privilege of knowing Him

continued to grow during those 20 years. She helped me regain that

sense of gratitude and honor. Throughout our marriage she would often

say, "Jack, do you know how blessed we are? We have been chosen by our Lord, Sathya Sai Baba!" Her joy was contagious, not just to me but to others as well. Her life really was His message. As

much as Kathy loved to sing bhajans, she had been unable to sing for

several months due to her illness. His love and grace gave her a

special gift just 3 days before she died. We always said prayers and

sang devotional songs every evening at 9:00 pm during this period.

Devotees frequently

joined us. That evening, during the few minutes of silence at the end

of our prayer time, Kathy started to sing. Her voice was weak, but

beautifully sweet and in perfect melody. That evening she sang 4 songs

to the Lord. She was almost giddy with glee that she was given the

blessing of being able to sing 4 songs to God. During our last conversation shortly before she died, I asked Kathy what she wanted me to tell devotees. She said, "Tell them He is not punishing me and He is not betraying me. He is showering me with His love and His grace." She

wanted me to tell people that she had "a happy heart" and wanted others

of have a happy heart. The joy that she radiated was real and emanated

from her heart. I am blessed to have been her partner and husband for

the past 7 years. Along with everyone who ever experienced her glowing

smile and shining love. I have been touch by an angel. Kathy Feely was a standard for women and all devotees. Her life was a song well sung. http://www.syan.org/Fall2002/article_song.html