Transformation of the Heart - Chapter 6

[Guest guest]

DESCENDING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT(By : Pauline Kirby)There

is one particular Eastertime that is clearly imprinted on my mind :

Good Friday of Holy Week, April, 1977. It was an Easter season that

transformed my life. I had an overwhelming experience which finally

awakened me from a deep spiritual sleep, a sleep I had been in for

years. It changed the way I saw and experienced the world.I was

on my holiday from teaching nursing in the university and had spent my

Easter vacation at a very beautiful place, Esalen Institute, on the

Pacific coast in Big Sur, California. For five days, while attending a

seminar at Esalen, I found myself inexplicably immersed in thoughts and

images of the Christ story. I say "inexplicably" because I thought I

had long since abandoned my Christian roots and freed myself from all

religious fetters. But now, for the first time in many years, many warm

remembrances of those childhood Bible stories were filling my

consciousness and bringing with them a profound joy and inner peace. I

had planned to spend the last two days of my vacation quietly returning

home to the Sacramento Valley; however, some inner prompting invited me

to stay on one more night in this lovely setting to continue to

experience my own calmness.When I went to the office to arrange

for a room for another night's lodging, I was told there was no room in

the inn. I remember feeling a little bit like Mary and Joseph when they

were looking for a room in Bethlehem. But almost as soon as I walked

out of the office, I ran into a warm, friendly soul living there. In

the course of our conversation, she offered me her extra room, if I

wanted to stay over!Next, I went to purchase a meal ticket and

was told there were no meal tickets available. The place was already

crowded, and there were more people to feed than food. I then

remembered that it was Good Friday, and this was the day Christ had

suffered on the Cross to save mankind. I certainly could forgo one meal

on this only day, but even this was not to be. When I went into the

dining room to get a cup of tea, a friend handed me a plate of food. It

seems that the cosmos was making sure the I was being totally cared

for, just as Mary and Joseph had been at the time of the nativity.What

a strange course of events. Here I was, a fallen-away Catholic spending

so much time thinking about Christ. I had grown up in a very strict

Catholic family and had always been very devout until I graduated from

college. Very shortly after graduation, I quit going to Mass and

decided that Catholicism was no longer for me. I could no longer agree

to follow blindly the religious rituals when they were not providing

any meaningful inspiration for me in my new life as a career woman. I

even decided to give up on God. I remember throwing out my college

Bible which I had used in many theology classes. I felt so certain that

there would be no further need for it in my life.Well, it was

now eight years later; and as I was looking out at the beautiful

Pacific Ocean, I found myself contemplating on how Jesus had spent his

time in the Garden after the last Supper. I remember being aware of how

he had known all that was to happen, and yet had allowed the drama to

be enacted because of his overwhelming love for mankind.After

spending a very lovely evening in atunement, for the first time in many

years, with God and nature, I retired to my room. It just so happened

that this particular room had a skylight so I could look up and gaze at

the beautiful star-lit sky. I quietly got into bed, after arranging to

sleep directly under the window, and began to relax and reflect on all

the wonderful events of the past week.I looked up at the

skylight; and suddenly a star started coming down from the heavens. It

streaked across the sky getting brighter and brighter and continued

right on through the window, entering directly into my room. It was

awesome. I was utterly stunned and amazed.I must explain that I

do not use intoxicants, and I have never had visions, hallucinations or

unusual imaginings. I was really a fairly conservative college teacher;

this was completely outside my realm of experience. At first, I was

truly frightened; but then the wistful children's story of Pinocchio

flashed across my mind - when the star came into Guiseppe's shop and

all the wooden toys began to do the dance of life.Almost

instantaneously, my room shone with a very strong light. Everything

seemed so clear and beautiful. It was totally overpowering. I was in a

complete state of awe and wonderment. I remember saying, "Is this

happening to me? Is this a dream? Am I asleep?" But I was totally awake

and my mind was perfectly clear. Yes, it was really happening!The

star then began to flash various streams of light, and as these flashed

before my eyes, I heard a very loving voice giving me clear directions

about my life. The messages were very simple, and there was no doubt in

my mind that this was guidance from above. One of the first things this

sweet voice said was, "You need to give up sugar, particularly, coca

cola."I must say this star knew me well. My usual habit was to

spend the mornings in the hospital supervising students and then rush

back to the university for my afternoon lecture class. On the way to

class, I would stop at the vending machines and buy one candy bar and

two coca colas. That was my lunch. I knew that this was not good, but

it seemed I needed God's loving intervention before I could change.The

voice also told me to become a vegetarian, become celibate, and begin

to worship God. Later, when I came to Sai Baba, I realized that these

were his exact teachings. The star then told me I was to come and live

at Esalen Institute in June and to begin to study natural medicine. It

told me not to worry about my job, my house or anything. All my needs

would be met. This was truly astonishing because I had been very

interested in alternative healing methods. I also had been wishing for

some way to leave the traditional health setting. Here again, I found

myself receiving direct orders from the divine, fulfilling a deep inner

desire.The star stayed with me for quite some time. The flashes

of light and the voice all happened in a very synchronized pattern,

like an orchestra playing a symphony around the cosmic dance of life.

Everything was noticed and given its full attention; not a single note

was missed. I was totally engrossed in this all-inspiring experience -

there was nothing to compare it with; it was beyond all that had been

previously known to me. I remembered the picture of Mary appearing to

the three children of Fatima; this image was the closest I could come

to grasping an experience of this magnitude. Yes, I realized there

really is a God, and he is directing every move of my life. To have

this knowledge gave much comfort to my disenchanted heart.Some

time during the star's presence, I remember feeling very afraid, and

immediately the image of climbing up and down stairs came into my mind.

To me, go down meant to descend into darkness and the unknown, while to

go up meant to follow the light and learn what the real truth is. I now

realize how similar this insight was to the Asatoma prayer of Sai

devotees :Lead me from the unreal to the real; Lead me from darkness to light; Lead me from death to immortality.Even then Baba was imparting one of his essential teachings, and I now pray that he will lead me in my continuing climb to him.After

the star left, I got out of bed feeling completely overwhelmed. I was

so filled with energy that I knew there was no way I was going to

sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. I made my way down to the rocks

on the beach, and it was there that I was able to first realize the

true significance of this event. As I gazed out on the ocean, I looked

up into the sky and immediately saw two white birds flying over my

head. They looked very much like white doves. On seeing these white

birds, my thoughts wandered back to the sacrament of Confirmation in

the Catholic Church. It is taught that when one receives this

sacrament, the grace of the Holy Spirit enters your body, and you

become a full disciple of Christ. And what is the symbol of

Confirmation? It is the dove!During my Catholic upbringing, I

had memorized all the answers in the catechism book so that I would be

well prepared for any questions the bishop might ask me at my

Confirmation ceremony. As a 12-year-old, I had looked forward to this

occasion with much anticipation and eagerness, the finalizing of my

commitment to Christianity.In my parish church, in a small

Nevada town, Confirmation only happened every two years. This was a big

event involving many preparations, rehearsals and other doings. The

bishop came; I answered his questions perfectly, was anointed on the

forehead with the sacred oil and was supposedly accepted as a disciple

of Christ. Yet, I walked away feeling empty, knowing that nothing

significantly had changed inside myself. I remember thinking : it is

just a chance to get a new dress, some presents, and have a big

celebration. What was the real significance of all this ritual? It must

have some meaning, but I was disappointed and disillusioned at the

emptiness I felt.Well, approximately twenty years later,

unexpectedly, on that Good Friday night on the California coast, I

suddenly realized I had truly received my sacrament of Confirmation.

Here was the experience I had longed for as a child. I now knew without

any doubt that the Holy Spirit descended on them forty days after

Christ rose from the dead. I was now one of the apostles.I

vividly recalled the account in the Bible, of Paul's journey to

Damascus, when suddenly a light appeared before him and a voice spoke

to him from above. He was so awe-struck that he immediately converted

to Christianity, and from that day on, he dedicated his life to

spreading the message of Christ to all parts of the world.Yes, I was one of the apostles. I was now Paul.The

way Baba chose to reveal his divinity to me was an awesome experience

that I now realize was designed uniquely for my eyes. My given name is

Pauline, and therefore my patron saint is Saint Paul. It is no wonder

that I should first be made aware of his divine presence through an

experience with light. How special we are to him is evident in the

dramatic way he individualizes our experiences so as to lead us to his

divine lotus feet.The next morning, I returned home with a

whole new understanding of God. I started following the directions of

the star explicitly. One of the first things I did was to look for my

old theology notes from college. It was at this point I remembered

throwing out my Bible and thought to myself, "Oh how foolish I was to

think I could throw God out of my life." I knew then that he was

totally with me and that there was no way I could live in this life

without experiencing God. I decided I needed a new Bible, so I went to

the bookstore to purchase one. There were many different versions, but

the version I had studied so hard in college was not to be found. A few

days later, I was in a place where there happened to be some used books

for sale. Immediately my eyes fell upon an exact replica of the Bible

that had been mine during college. I quickly purchased it, very happy

that my old friend was now back in my life.Since the star had

told me to come live at the institute in Big Sur, I immediately began

to make the plans. I applied and was accepted for a three month work

study program. I completed my teaching assignment at the university and

prepared my courses for the fall semester so that someone else could

easily carry on my duties. I was sure I would not be returning.I

arrived at Big Sur the first of June and at once felt a complete sense

of well-being that affirmed my new direction in life. Very shortly

after my arrival, I discovered that there was a Catholic Hermitage only

eleven miles from the institute. I began attending Mass regularly and

felt completely at home in this cloistered environment. I remember

walking into the chapel for the first time and knowing that I was

returning home after a long absence. The monks were very kind and

simply treated me as a fellow spiritual seeker. They seemed to be

completely open and accepting of a vast range of spiritual paths - a

strong contrast to my very rigid religious upbringing.Approximately

two weeks after my arrival at Esalen Institute, I heard of a morning

meditation period I could attend, which was followed by a bhajan

session. This was my first exposure to Sai Baba. I think he captured me

with those bhajans. I just loved singing them; it was very reminiscent

of singing Latin in the choir when I was a child. I did knot know the

Latin meaning of thos hymns, and here again, I found myself not knowing

the meaning of these Indian songs. However, the sounds simply captured

my heart.Soon I started reading about Sathya Sai Baba. The very first book I read, called Vision of the Divine,

disclosed Swami's trademark, TPS, inscribed on a medallion which he had

materialized. It means Tara (star), Puttaparthi in the form of Sathya.

Then I realized it was he who had come as that wonderful star; it was

he who had descended into my world on Good Friday night, it was he who

had completely changed my life. Before long, I would embark on my first

trip to India to experience directly his divine human form.After

my trip to Swami, and on returning to Esalen to continue my studies as

a natural healer, I now knew that there was a God incarnate who was

directing and guiding my life. Of this, I had no doubt. Early on at

Esalen, I began studying a variety of natural healing methods with a

teacher who "happened" to be also a devotee of Sai Baba. He had

acquired a wide knowledge of natural healing methods including

acupuncture, homeopathy, rolfing, massage, herbology and nutrition. I

learned many things, but I became particularly attracted to acupuncture

and homeopathy. Soon, I was assisting him with the Esalen acupuncture

and natural healing clinic.One day, I happened to be giving an

acupuncture treatment to a famous anthropologist, a person who had

visited Baba a few times, when a friend of his arrived. His friend

happened to be the Governor of California at that time. After I

finished, the Governor asked me where I had learned acupuncture and if

I was licensed. He then told me that he had just signed a law stating

that acupuncture could be learned by the tutorial method. He said that

I would probably qualify and that I should start going to the

acupuncture committee board meetings.Actually, for over a year,

I had been attending these meetings, but they were still developing

guidelines for the tutorial program. I had already applied, giving them

a complete report of my studies, but they had not responded to my

application.A very important committee meeting had been

scheduled in Los Angeles on the same weekend that a Sai Baba retreat

was scheduled to take place outside of San Francisco. I was in a real

dilemma : which to go to? I really did not want to attend the meeting

in LA; the meetings were boring; it was a very long drive, and the

committee might not even talk about the tutorialships; but most of all,

I wanted to go to the Sai retreat in San Francisco.On Wednesday

of that week, I still had not decided what I was going to do. I called

up the board to find out if the tutorial applications were going to be

discussed and was informed that the meeting had been moved to a San

Francisco location! Now, I could do everything I wanted. As always,

Baba had shown his omnipresent hand in removing all obstacles. So off I

went to the meeting, where I learned that my application had been

approved and that I would be allowed to take the acupuncture

examination.With Swami's divine intervention, I passed the exam

and received my license. As I look back, I realize that my

"achievement" was indeed Baba's grace : The star had told me to come to

Esalen and become a natural healer; I had followed my star and was not

only blessed to receive all my training free, but also to become the

first person to be licensed under the tutorial program.Swami

proceeded to further my acupuncture education by allowing me to study

in China. In early 1981, I had decided I would like to take a three

month course in acupuncture in Beijing. I applied and was accepted for

the Fall course. Approximately a month before I was to go, I decided

that the course was too expensive; I would ask Beijing to permit my

enrollment to be postponed until the Spring of 1982, in case I decided

to go then. During that Fall of '81, I was thinking about taking a six

month leave from Esalen and either going to China for three months and

India for three months or spending the whole six months in India. I was

debating what to do when one day, the co-founder of Esalen asked me

approximately how much it would cost for me to go to China. I told him,

and he immediately offered me a $5,000 grant from Esalen that would

enable me to make this trip to China. Once again, I felt Swami's divine

hand guiding my life.I went to China and had a very

educational, enriching experience. I continued my journey to India

where I ended up staying six-and-a-half months. During this extended

time in Swami's presence, I became steeped in his divine love and his

basic teaching of truth, right action, peace, love and non-violence.I

know now that when the star visited me on that holy night of Good

Friday, I not only received the Holy Spirit and became a disciple of

Christ, but also became a part of a much larger family - that of all

mankind; all of whom are soon destined to receive the Holy Spirit. The

father of this world family is our beloved Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who is

God once again incarnate in human form to spread his divine love. He

has promised us that he will bring this troubled earth of diverse

religious streams, cultures and hostile factions back together again in

love, united in one family. He gave us a wonderful view of this world

family when he said :There is only one religion,the religion of loveThere is only one language,the language of the heartThere is only one caste,the caste of humanityThere is only one God,He is omnipresent.That

is the true Communion, the holy union of the Father, the Son and the

Holy Spirit within us, that we are all praying for. May he bless the

world to experience the Golden Age very soon.(From : Transformation of the Heart, compiled and edited by Judy Warner)Copyright reserved by Sri Sathya Sai Books and Publications Trust, Prashanti Nilayam Visit : Sai Divine Inspirations : http://saidivineinspirations.blogspot.com/ Sai Messages : http://saimessages.blogspot.com/ Love Is My Form : http://loveismyform.blogspot.com/