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From Puttaparthi... Transformation of an Atheist

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I was in the 9th grade when my mother started believing in Swami.

At that time, my mother had contracted some kind of an eye infection and had lost nearly 70 per cent of her vision in the left eye. I was born an atheist. But a series of incidents in my life turned me to the person I am now – a lover of God.

My mother later told us that during the period of her illness, whichever hospital or doctor or even pharmacist she visited had a picture of Swami – and from every picture Swami appeared to beckon her. He kept calling her to Him!

Worship God not as a Picture, but the Picture as God

I had heard and read many instances of the various miracles Swami had performed for His devotees. But there is a huge difference in reading about these miracles as against personally experiencing them.

I was in the 11th grade and had gotten up early in the morning to prepare for my final exams. My mother had been to Puttaparthi only a few days before and as a result our house was full of Swami's photos. There was this one photo, on the wall in the dining hall, which bothered me every time I had to pass by it. In that particular photo, Swami appeared to be staring angrily, unlike the other photos in my house in which He was all smiling.

But that morning, things changed, and changed forever. As usual when I passed by the photo I gave my by now routine smile to Swami. But this time, the angry-looking Swami from the photograph smiled back at me! Now these were only miracles that you typically read about in books, but here I was, standing in front of a photo and looking at the man in the photo smiling back at me!!!

Was I hallucinating? I immediately posed Swami a challenge. I told him that if what I had seen was true and not some figment of my imagination, then He needs to come up with a miracle that all of us could see. The very next day, amritham, or divine nectar came from that particular photo of Swami! And as I had wanted, all of us could see it!!!

But then nothing comes easy with Swami. He has this knack of testing you till the last minute and just when you are about to give up, He does some magic and turns things around.

Then I nurtured dreams of studying in Swami's college which I did join and studying there was an eye-opener. I was face to face with students who loved Swami but had different ways of expressing it. My 1st darshan of Swami came only after I pined for Him.

But there was another occasion when I had to cry and crave for Swami's darshan. And that happened a good 8 years later. In 2007, when Swami had come to Chennai for the 'Athi Rudra Maha Yagna', some alumni members such as me had been assigned the security duty at the Yagna site. But since only a few days back I had taken up a new job and was under probation, I could not be very liberal with taking leave.

I had nevertheless taken the first 3 days off. But when the 4th day came, I knew I had to go to office. So, I decided that I will leave for office after having Swami's darshan when He would come to the Yagna site. On that day, news came in that Swami would not be coming to the Yagna site. My heart sank for this meant that I would have to leave for office without seeing Swami!

I caught an auto rickshaw to go to my office. But the vehicle barely covered a kilometer, when I got a message on my mobile phone that Swami would be coming to the Yagna site now from SUNDARAM!

And so I reached Sundaram, when Swami's car was just coming out! I was on the opposite side of where Swami was seated and so there was no one but me on that side. I was now standing just feet or two away from Swami! Without realizing, I had tears running all over my cheeks.

But His benevolence did not stop with that - Swami turned around and looked at me! He gave me the most beautiful, all-knowing smile that only made me cry harder. Seeing Swami by itself was a difficult emotion to handle but now seeing Him look at me was beyond everything. Seeing me crying so much, Swami smiled again and raised his hand in a blessing gesture before His car zoomed past me.

Swami's mission is divine and will go on with or without us. That means, it is only up to us to seek and get a role from this divine director, however small it may be and play it to perfection, or rather, pray that He makes us play it perfectly. To whom much is given, much is expected.

(An alumna of the Sri Sathya Sai University, Anantapur Campus, Ms. Srividhya Sivakumar graduated with a degree in Physics in 2002. A journalist by profession, she is currently employed with The Hindu Business Line, based in Chennai.) See snaps.

http://media.radiosai.org/Journals/Vol_06/01AUG08/07-Srividhya.htm#

PS: VIBHUTHI has been sent to PENNSYLVANIA, DURBAN, CHENNAI, WEST MALAYSIA, CLEVELAND, WASHINGTON, NOIDA and GEORGIA against fresh requests.

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