Devotee's Experience - by Amrita Satpathy

[Guest guest]

DEVOTEE'S EXPERIENCE

 

It had been a long time since my parents could leave me all by myself. After a

period of prolonged illness, I had been totally drained of my mental and

physical strength. There was time in my life when I could do things all by

myself. Once upon a time, I savoured the joys of a solitary existence, wallowing

in the warmth of my being. But those were things of the past. Solitude was now

terrifying. It was as if life was mocking at me. But there comes a moment, a

moment of epiphany in life, which heralds the coming of good times. Miracles

happen, however tiny. You have to believe in them.

 

That evening in June, my parents had to leave me behind. I had managed to put a

brave front and had calmly agreed to stay by myself. I had decided not to let my

fears get the better of me. Because they had been invited to attend a wedding

ceremony and were going to be late, I had asked a friend of mine to give me

company for a few hours. My parents left. And I waited for my friend to arrive.

She had called to confirm that she would reach me in half an hour’s time.

Gradually the afternoon melted into picturesque summer dusk. The sky was

splattered with myriad hues. I stood on the verandah, looking at the scene

outside. Children were playing happily. A cool breeze was cheerfully blowing. My

parents kept calling me to ensure everything was fine. As the blissful dusk

transformed into the darkness of the evening, I felt the shadows of fear slowly

creeping into my heart. My friend had still not arrived…..

 

I sat watching the T. V. with empty eyes, to distract myself. Suddenly the

doorbell rang. I was relieved; maybe my friend had arrived at last. I opened the

door, and who should be standing before me? It was my aunt, a cousin of my

mother’s. What was she doing here, when she should have been at the wedding? I

asked her to come in. But she was in a hurry. She was on her way to the

ceremony, and decided to stop by and deliver a little packet on the spur of the

moment. I took the packet and she left. By then, it was already dark outside. It

was quiet and eerie. The street lamps had flickered to life, trying their best

to cheer up the murky lanes and alleys and my miserable self.

 

I stared at the packet for a long time. It was from a friend of my mother's.

Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. To my surprise and delight, out

came a little framed picture of Sai Baba, with a little packet of holy vibhuti

and prasad. And it had come all the way from Shirdi! My mother’s friend had been

to Shirdi and had sent it for her. But for me it was a divine moment. My friend

had arrived. Baba was my friend and he had come to ease the mental and physical

agony that I was going through. I felt lonely no longer. I realized a friend was

there for me, to help me in times of distress, to talk to me when there was

nobody around. It was as if the colours of the sky had filled my bleak world

with richness. The picture of Baba came as a blessing. I began to feel a lot

better. I spent the evening, doing my work.

 

Soon, my parents returned. And with each passing day I began to regain my

strength. I started enjoying the pleasures of solitude; I had learnt to do

things on my own. Although it took me several months to become my usual self, I

remained undeterred and kept fighting to get back my lost state of health. Every

time the dark clouds of depressive bouts shrouded me, I looked into Baba’s eyes

and they vanished within a second. Miracles do not happen, they have to be

sensed. Miracles do not announce themselves with a flash of lightening or a peal

of thunder. It is the spark within, that whispers quietly into your heart that a

blessing has been granted to you and that things will be all right...Thank you

Baba, for being there for me and with me.

 

Amrita Satpathy

 

http://www.heritageofshirdisai.org/newsletter/Vol26.htm