I had to share this with my sai family

[Guest guest]

Sai Ram,

 

Who can stop telling about Swami’s miracles, especially when they happen to us? When they happen to us we start falling over ourselves to tell the whole world what happened. It becomes a compulsion for us to do so- if we were not filled with the nectar of Swami’s love we would probably think of this feeling as wanting to show off. But the realization and love of Swami fills our hearts and ultimately it merges with Love that makes us want to share this joy with others.

 

There are people who could call this a coincidence but as far as I am concerned it is Swami’s love and benevolence that I have every reason and right to treasure and share with my Sai family.

 

A few weeks back my elderly grand mother started falling ill. The illness worsened and she soon became bedridden, with a stroke and she went into near coma and ultimately expired. During this traumatic period due to my job, I could not get to either see her in her last days or be there to help my beloved parents who had to struggle all alone with out much help. It was even difficult to get her admitted in a hospital, as most of the nearby hospitals had shortage of staff and doctors as it was Ganesh Chaturthi time. Luckily one doctor was kind enough to admit her by Swami’s grace- I know that for a fact because, just before that I sat in front of Swami’s photo and told Him frustratedly that ‘you have willed this to happen. I accept your decision as you have to give us the fruits of our karmas- my grandmother in the form of her suffering, my parents physically and me in the form of helplessness, feeling guilty for not being there and of course frustration. So now I surrender our troubles at your feet. Do as you will.’

 

Naturally things had to fall in place. She got admitted and the nursing care was excellent (no home nurse could be arranged but the hospital nurses never made my parents feel the lack of one despite there being a shortage of staff).

 

Here the feeling of frustration was building up in me. One afternoon during my lunch break, I stood in front of Swami’s photo, in which he is standing on a pink lotus flower against a black background and told how helpless I was feeling. I asked Him to let me pray at his Lotus feet. I knew that I would feel peaceful after that.

 

That moment I felt a heavy drowsiness come over me. I set the alarm for half an hour later and lay down on the bed. I went into a deep slumber immediately and there was a grey- white place that I was transported (like a mist). There was a lake with crystal clear water- it almost looked like glass. In the centre was a white translucent crystal lotus that was revolving and the movement was causing ripples in the water around. On that lotus was Swami, standing. I remember no words that were spoken if there were any. But I felt a mental communication as though He was telling me ‘you wanted to pray at my lotus feet. You can do that now.’

 

I fell on my knees and then I only remember going close to the lotus across the water kneeling all the time, gazing at His feet all the time. I felt peace wash away my grief. The moment this happened, the alarm rang and I woke up, feeling so light hearted. I cannot really put into words the joy I felt then.

 

This is only the beginning of the story.

 

A few days later grandmother expired. At that precise moment I was at work. The moment the news was conveyed to me, I felt a rush of tears into my eyes. But I could not cry could I? It just was not done. I looked at Swami’s wall paper on my PC and mentally asked Him to give me the courage to face the rest of the day with a smile on my face so that I would not be lacking in my work.

 

Just then who walks in but a Sai Samiti member. She started talking about Swami and after a brief conversation on the goodness of Satsangh, I felt the tears dry up in my eyes and I told her about the demise of my grandmother and how I had been trying to control my emotions when she walked in. But the feeling of heaviness in my heart had not completely gone.

 

Then she related to me how she had gone through a similar experience when her father had expired. She had been very attached to her father. When she received the sad news, she looked at Swami’s photo beseechingly and at that moment she said she felt no more hurting in her heart. Her words made me realize that I was no longer feeling hurt any more. I felt the same feeling of joy and light heartedness that I had earlier felt after the dream.

 

Then on the 12th day after the demise of my grandmother was Janamshatmi in Kerala (it is celebrated one month after the rest of the country celebrates it.) As per tradition one cannot enter a temple till all the 13 day rituals are over. I did not wish to hurt my parents by refusing to comply with their request that I should follow tradition. I was feeling a little sad. As I was sitting in my office, a friend of mine also working at the same place walked in with her father, a devout Sai Bhakta. He gave me a photo of Swami (both hands in Abhaya Hasta). My friend gave me two photos of Lord Krishna. There is another story in this too.

 

Another colleague of mine was there too and she was worried about her daughter and I had just been advising her to have faith in Swami when the other two (friend and her father) people had walked in. After the photo of Swami was given to me, MY FRIEND SUDDENLY TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD A FEW PHOTOS THAT SHE HAD PURCHASED FROM ISKON TEMPLE AT BANGALORE. She told me to choose ONE. So I told her to turn them face downwards as they were all equally attractive. She did that. I pulled out one but two fell. She told me to take both as she felt that it was divine will. After they both left, I turned to my other colleague who had been worried about her daughter and told her that one of Lord Krishna’s photo was for her. There was one with a baby Krishna crawling and the other one in which mother Yashoda is hugging her baby protectively. I turned both of them face downwards and well : SHE PICKED ONE. IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE ONE WITH MOTHER AND SON. She immediately realized how symbolic it was. It was a sign that God was with her.

 

To continue with my story, Swami personally came through the photos on that auspicious day. I felt so happy then. If you think that the story is over, you are wrong. There is more.

 

A couple of years back my grand mother had purchased a chain of gold with a locket of Lord Tirupati Venkatesh for herself and she had gifted it to me. Since I knew how eagerly she had bought it for herself, I refused and blurted out that I would take it after her time. I had immediately felt guilty for even talking about her death and I had hastily amended my words saying that I would borrow it from her whenever I wished to wear it.

 

After her demise all her jewellery was distributed among her children. My parents refused to keep even one as they wanted her other children to keep them. They had had the good fortune of taking care of her and that as far as they were concerned was enough for them. Money and gold was of no use was their rationale of thought.

 

I even requested them on the phone to keep that one chain for me as grandmother’s blessing to which they had refused (because recently I had been getting dreams of Lord Tirupati Venkatesh and this I felt was a sign). Well believe it or not the necklace could not be found among her jewellery. Everyone searched high and low for it.

 

Here I was feeling sad that I had refused the holy gift of Lord Venkatesh’s symbol all those months back. My mother reassured me saying that it was just my mind playing tricks and forcing me to think negatively.

 

Well every relative left after the 13th day rites and my parents were alone. The day after the last relative left, my mother decided to empty my grandmother’s cupboard. Believe it or not, right there was the chain in a small box. All the relatives including my parents had searched every single place including that cupboard in vain and there was the chain right in front of their eyes.

 

She immediately called up everyone and told them the good news and she told me that I was probably right in requesting for the chain and she promised that she would accept that chain on my behalf and give it to me when she saw me next.

 

Today I was wishing that since Navaratri was approaching, I should be able to recite the Lalitha Sahasranamam. But I was wondering where I would get company for that.

 

In the evening I was feeling a little sad and maybe even a little afraid, as I was walking to the temple, thinking about death . I mentally admonished myself and sternly told myself that I should have more faith in Swami. What kind of a devotee was I that I forgot that Swami would be ever with me. Well I felt slightly better but not completely at peace. I continued walking telling myself that I should have better control on myself and more faith in Swami as I keep forgetting that He is always with me. How could I forget Him even for a moment. If I remembered Him all the time then how did I feel sad?

 

Just then I met a Sai devotee and she chatted with me for a few minutes. Now we were standing in front of the house of another devout Sai Bhakta couple and I had not yet had the good fortune of meeting this couple although I had met their son once. Swami has walked to their house to visit them- fortunate family.

 

Well her I was standing when the son saw me and insisted that I should come to their house. I did and immediately, I could feel a little more at peace with myself. I met the couple and took their blessings. Here comes the beauty of Sai-networking- the beautiful web of joy and peace that He weaves.

 

That Aunty had just finished reading Sai Satcharita that day (7 days parayana) and she was ecstatic that another Sai devotee had come at the end of it to her house. And guess what she gave me some Udi from Shirdi. The moment I had that mixed with water, I felt a sense of peace wash away the reminder of the hurt in my heart.

 

And guess what! She invited me to join her for all 9 days of Navaratri for reciting the Lalita Sahasranamam with her Bal Vikas students.

 

Because I got delayed in going to the temple, I reached in time for the Arti.

 

As soon as I returned home with ecstacy in my heart, I had to share this with you all.

 

Swami is great great great…………….

 

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laxmi