Devotee's Experience and Transformation

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AUM SAI RAM

 

 

Experiencing the divine leelas of the Lord Sai Chandra is only the debut of a long process leading to transformation. It is a state or phase of spiritual emotions monitored by the divine. While some people take a longer time to savour the fruit of transformation, others are transformed at a quicker space. A person experiences Baba only at Baba's will. The experience is nothing more than a infinitesimal seed which Baba plants in the fertile and accessible heart of the experimenter.

 

This true story of experience and transformation was related to me by Santoshi. In her own words:

 

 

' In 1967, when I was seventeen, I met a young man, Rupesh. We were both taking private tuition from a teacher to sit for the GCE AL. I was not in love with him but he was very fond of me and he proposed to marry me after his uni studies. I never had a boyfriend before and in my mind I caressed the idea of getting married to him. He was tall , well- educated, good-mannered and very handsome. One day, however, he took advantage of the fact that we were alone at our teacher's place and he raped me.

I was horrified! I cried my heart out as all my youthful dreams of the haldi ceremony, shaadi, shuhaag raat, awaiting my groom under the ghungaat, the intimate and sacred act of union between spouses were shattered and fell into pieces in a matter of seconds. He comforted me and renewed his promise to marry me. But, soon after, he left the country for his studies and I found out that I was pregnant. I was obliged to abort the baby and consequently, I suffered a massive mental breakdown. I spent months in a mental institution where I was treated with the dreadful electric shocks.

By the Grace of God (now I am convinced that he is Baba), I recovered and I got married to another guy .However, my marriage was a total failure as my husband never forgave me for not being a virgin.

Then one day I found out about Sai Baba and I joined the Sai fold. I had breast cancer but I was healed by Baba when he appeared in my dream and removed the tumor from my diseased breast. I am now a completely transformed person. I remember I used to say that if one day I come across Rupesh on the road, I will hit him headlong with my car and kill him like a wretched dog. Some time ago, I learnt that he was back in the country, married with three grown-up children. An ailing old man , he had terminal prostrate cancer.I had aged too and my heart had melted. I did come across him on the road when I went out for my morning stroll. I greeted him... I had forgiven him since long.'

 

Santoshi is a retired Administrator. On the one hand, I was painfully moved by her story which may sound,on the outset, like a scenario for an old classical Indian movie. On the other, through my understanding of what lies behind the made-up face of every woman, I had come to realise something about myself. I should never look on the outer people and make judgments. What is inside may take me by surprise!

Transformation is an inner process, not outer.

At the Lotus Feet of SAI

Anita