The responsibility of parents in values education

December 9, 2009

9 Dec 2009

A child needs to feel accepted: We do love our children “warts and all” as the saying goes, but they don’t always realise it.

Accept them as they are. You can help them develop their full potential but they must shine in their own way, and that is not necessarily your way.

I think the words that Kahil Gibran wrote about children should be inscribed in the heart of every parent. Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, even in dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you,

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

You will no doubt be interested to know that Sathya Sai says the same:

“Your children are not your children, they are God’s children.

You should love them, but your thoughts should not pass to them.”

So help them to be what they were meant to be, without trying to mould them into some ideal that does not fit their character. Bring them up in a loving atmosphere: Parenting is not easy—yet, also it is very easy. Bring them up in a loving atmosphere and there will be very few problems. If Mum and Dad love each other, and face life’s problems together bravely, you will find that the children grow up with few problems. Quarrels are very unsettling.

“In some houses, parents quarrel in front of their children. This is an unhealthy practice. If there is any difference of opinion between parents, this should be resolved in the absence of the children. Children cannot concentrate on their studies if they are disturbed by family problems. So parents should never discuss problems in front of them.”

Quarrels at home make a child feel very insecure. Let them grow in an atmosphere of love, then they will know how to face the world. Nowadays, there are many single parents battling on bravely to bring up the children. It is not easy and certainly not ideal—especially when the other parent is around somewhere and the children’s loyalties are divided. I don’t say it can’t be done, but it is much more difficult.

Children are very good at playing one parent against the other (even in an ordinary, two-parent home), and when the parents are separated, they can do it even more expertly. Marriage is not something that should be broken at the drop of a hat. Your children are a mixture of both of you, and they need you both.

Compiled by the Sai Institute of Education West Indies.

The Sri Sathya Sai Baba Organisation of Trinidad and Tobago will be having a Christmas program for all children on December 13 from 9 am at the Sai Nilayam, Longdenville, Chaguanas.

http://guardian.co.tt/commentary/life/2009/12/09/responsibility-parents-values-educationNo virus found in this outgoing messageChecked by PC Tools AntiVirus (6.1.0.25 - 6.13880).http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/