HERE YA GO! SOME FUNNIES! PASS THEM ALONG IF YOU LIKE!

[Guest guest]

 

JodyHolly1 <JodyHolly1

vivekananda <vivekananda

03 July 1999 16:27

HERE YA GO! SOME FUNNIES! PASS THEM ALONG IF YOU LIKE!

 

 

>

>An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have. The older she

gets,

>the more interested he is in her. (Agatha Christie)

>

>Life is a terminal disease usually caused by birth. Enjoy it while you can.

>(Greybeard)

>

>To be meek, patient, tactful, modest, honorable, brave, is not to be either

>manly or womanly; it is to be humane. (Jane Harrison)

>

>To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're

>overdoing it. (J. Jenkins)

>

>Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they

>gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things --

not

>at all like the glaring defects in other people's characters. (Margarte

>Halsey)

>

>Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80,

>and gradually approach 18. (Mark Twain)

>

>You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. (Ethel

>Barrymore)

>

>An " egghead " is a person who stands firmly on both feet in mid-air on both

>sides of an issue. (Homer Ferguson)

>

>From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, a woman

>needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality, but from 55

>on what she needs is good cash. (Sophie Tucker)

>

>Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses; women for their

strengths.

>(Lois Wyse)

>

>When you're down and out, something always turns up -- and it's usually the

>noses of your " friends " . (Orson Welles)

>

>Fashion is something so ugly we have to change it every year. (Oscar Wilde)

>

> " Luck " is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. (Oprah)

>

>There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy. (Frankfort

>Moore)

>

>Man forgives woman anything EXCEPT the wit to out-wit him. (Minna Antrim)

>

>Bachelors' wives, and old maids' children are always perfect. (Nicolas

>Chamfort)

>

>If you want a baby, have a new one. Don't baby the old one. (Jessamyn West)

>

>To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. (Oscar Wilde)

>

>The idea of strictly minding our own business is mouldy rubbish. Who could

>be so selfish? (Myrtie Barker.)

>

>Language -- a form of organized stutter. (Marshall McLuhan)

>

>It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. (Dolores

>Ibarruri)

>

>Some are bent with toil; some get crooked trying to avoid it. (Herbert V.

>Prochnow)

>