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Funny for the weekend :)

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky

tire.

 

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

 

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

 

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

 

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

 

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as

a warning to others.

 

It is far more impressive when others discover your good

qualities without your help.

 

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple

of car payments.

 

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

 

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it

was probably worth it.

 

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

 

You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

 

When someone says, " Do you want my opinion? " - it's always a

negative one.

 

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

 

The trouble with work is - it's so daily.

 

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that

little extra.

 

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3

friends, if they are OK, you're it.

 

Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional.

 

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like

clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

 

Before you get in a fight with a person, walk 500 hundred miles

in his shoes. That way you're 500 hundred miles ahead of him

and you've got his shoes.

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