Guest guest Posted September 8, 1999 Report Share Posted September 8, 1999 English is notorious for its inconsistent spelling " rules " . A friend sent this: English -- the official language of the European Union: The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as " Euro-English " . In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter! In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer. Un zats der vay it iz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 1999 Report Share Posted September 8, 1999 Dear K. Excellent. Five years of fooling to make German the official language again!!! * And today I also contribute one 'humor'. == A preacher dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy in sunglasses, a loud shirt and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy: " Who are you? " The guy replies. " I am Joe Cohen, taxi driver of Noo Yawk City. " Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, " Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter The Kingdom of Heaven. " The taxi driver proceeds and its the preacher's turn. He stands erect and booms out, " I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for last 43 years. " Saint Peter consults his list and says, " Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter The Kingdom of Heaven. " " Just a minute, " says the minister. " That man was taxi driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be? " " Up here, we work by results, " says Saint Peter. " While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed. " == ********** Westend Ashram at Colorado Springs wrote: > trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer. > > Un zats der vay it iz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2001 Report Share Posted February 10, 2001 - " EDTipple " <edtipple " Jay Lakhani,Viv. Centre London " <vivekananda Saturday, February 10, 2001 12:29 humor > Dear Jay, > > In your last humor list you included: " Depression is merely anger > without enthusiasm. " Though on the face of it, this strikes one as > funny, I think it might be a great psychological insight!... Patanjali > would, I suppose, suggest thinking the opposite or happiness -- but if > anger is the basis of depression, then the opposite that one should > think of is love. Interesting. > Yours, > Edith > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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