Guest guest Posted September 10, 1999 Report Share Posted September 10, 1999 Why did the chicken cross the road??? Some alternative perspectives on another " Eternal Question " >> >>>>PAT BUCHANAN >>To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. >> >>DR. SEUSS >>Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The >>chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! >> >>ERNEST HEMINGWAY >>To die. In the rain. >> JERRY FALWELL >>Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the >>plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the " other >>side. " That's what " they " call it: the " other side. " Yes, my friends, >>that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay >>too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination >>that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like >> " the other side. " That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as >>plain and simple as that. >>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. >>I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads >>without having their motives called into question. >> >>GRANDPA >>In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told >>us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. >> >>ARISTOTLE >>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. >> >>KARL MARX >>It was an historical inevitability. >> >>SADDAM HUSSEIN >>This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in >>dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. >> >>RONALD REAGAN >>What chicken? >> >>KEN STARR >>I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the >>president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law >>enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal >>wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a >>result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and >>elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For >>that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity >>provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the >>chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until >>our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have >>been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has >>leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be >>homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may >>have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.) >> >>CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK >>To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. >> >>FOX MULDER >>You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have >>to cross before you believe it? >> >>FREUD >>The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road >>reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. >> >>BILL GATES >>I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but >>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook >> -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. >> >>EINSTEIN >>Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the >>chicken? >> >>BILL CLINTON >>I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? >>Could you define chicken please? >> >>LOUIS FARRAKHAN >>The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the >> " black man " in order to trample him and keep him down. >> >>THE BIBLE >>And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, " Thou >>shalt cross the road. " And the chicken crossed the road, and there was >>much rejoicing. >> >>COLONEL SANDERS >>I missed one? >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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