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[Guest guest]

This came via the internet:-

 

The following statements about the bible were written by children and

have not been retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling has been left in.)

 

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the

world, so he took the Sadbath off.

 

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

 

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

 

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

 

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

 

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like

Delilah.

 

Sampson slayed the Phillistines with the axe of the Apostles.

 

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up

on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

 

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

 

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

 

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

 

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand

still and he obeyed him.

 

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the

Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times..

 

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna

Carta.

 

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

 

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

 

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before

they do one to you.

 

He also explained, " a man doth not live by sweat alone. " It was a

miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off

the entrance.

 

The people who followed the Lord were called the l2 decibels.

 

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

 

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is

another name for marriage.

 

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

 

 

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