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A great sight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My face in the mirror

Isn't wrinkled or drawn.

My house isn't dirty.

The cobwebs are gone.

My garden looks lovely,

And so does my lawn.

I think I might never

Put my glasses back on.

 

----------------------

 

" Tim Davis "

Academic Phrases and Meanings

 

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you

understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special

phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or

academic paper anywhere!

 

" It has long been known " ... I didn't look up the original reference.

 

" A definite trend is evident " ... These data are practically meaningless.

 

" While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the

questions " ... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it

published.

 

" Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study " ... The other results

didn't make any sense.

 

" Typical results are shown " ... This is the prettiest graph.

 

" These results will be in a subsequent report " ... I might get around to

this sometime, if pushed/funded.

 

" In my experience " ... once " In case after case " ... twice " In a series of

cases " ... thrice " It is believed that " ... I think.

 

" It is generally believed that " ... A couple of others think so, too.

 

" Correct within an order of magnitude " ... Wrong.

 

" According to statistical analysis " ... Rumor has it.

 

" A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these

findings " ... A wild guess.

 

" A careful analysis of obtainable data " ... Three pages of notes were

obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

 

" It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete

understanding of this phenomenon occurs " ... I don't understand it.

 

" After additional study by my colleagues " ... They don't understand it

either.

 

" Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy

Adams for valuable discussions " ... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams

explained to me what it meant.

 

" A highly significant area for exploratory study " ... A totally useless

topic selected by my committee.

 

" It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this

field " ... I quit.

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