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[Guest guest]

People kept writing to me, now I consider that this is a call from my

mother. Gausima this is also for you, have faith...

 

This is a humble offering to my Mother, who is always protecting me and

guiding me:

 

My maternal grand-father used to work as a thasasildar in Bapatla, a small

town in Guntur District. My father (now retired as an Asst. Director,

Survey and land records) was working as a Taluk Surveyor those days.

 

There is a small village called " jillEllamuDi " , where a mother called

" anasuya " , very famously known as " jillEllamuDi amma " . She was believed to

be the avatara of Goddess Lalita. She was also called as " Annapurna " ,

because of offering regularly free food for thousands of people. Though the

Amma is physically no more, her ashram is still there and the free food

distribution is still continuing.

 

I was 11 days old infant then. My parents left me at home at my grand

parents place and went to visit " Mother Anasuya " at Jillellamudi. Before

that, my parents told me, that they never met her. Yet! The moment she saw

them approaching her, she asked them " where is my boy " . My parents seem to

have surprised. They did not say a word and stood in front of her. It

seems she questioned: " how could you do this, poor fellow is at home

waiting to see me and you left him and came alone? " . My father with out

hesitating any more, sent his official jeep back to the town, in order to

bring *me* (not yet named :-))

 

Anasuya amma asked my parents to stay in the ashram for 3 days. During

those three days, they say that she her self looked after me. She performed

3 functions (1) namakarana = She gave a name to me (2) annaprasana = she fed

me the first morsel of food to my physical body. (3) uuyala = She put me on

a bed in the cradle. In our families these functions are considered very

important. All these are performed by that divine mother. My mother seem

to have asked her to protect me and give education to me. For that " Anasuya

amma " replied saying " I shall teach him when the time comes, don't worry " .

My parents considered all these as spiritual experiences. But I turned

their happiness turned in to worry by my childhood behavior.

 

I grew up in a town called Repalle, at the banks of River Krishna. I am

considered to be a very knotty boy. My mother got frustrated many times and

punished me. I was a questioner. Every thing was a question to me. There

used to be a Sri Rama temple in front of our house. The priest in that

temple is a vaishnava. He was very fond of me. Because, I was interested

in eating the sweet prasad (offering to the Lord) I used to visit the temple

and clean the idols and help the priest. I used to call him as " taatagaru " ,

(his real name was raamaanujAcAryulu) he was 90 years old then. He taught

me many hymns. He taught me Hanuman chalisa. He used to tell me stories

about the valor of Lord Hanuman. Every night, listening from him, the

stories of Lord Hanuma was my ritual. Of course, in the morning again I am

a notty boy. My mother used to complain to the priest about my misbehavior.

The priest used to protect me from my mother's beatings, saying that I am a

child... (I shall write more about him when needed)

 

My father's elder brother lives in a town called Guntur. He is 75 years

old now. He owns a cinema hall in Guntur. Listening to him is a great

education in deed! He is more in to Karma Marga (doing Homas and Pujas and

Upasanas). When I was 11 years old, I went to spend my summer holidays at

my uncle's home at Guntur. He regularly performs homa. He also has a

family Hanuman temple. There is a Goddess Lalita Temple near to their home.

It is believed that Mother Kali, personifies in the night time and she

doesn't like to see humans moving around the temple at that time. So nobody

dare used to go near to the temple in the night times. The pujari leaves

the temple by 9PM. I got curious to see that Kali who is scaring away all

the disciples. I thought, if she is the mother then she should behave like

my mother. I wanted to have first hand experience about Mother Kali. I

sneaked in to the temple premises (the temple has a big garden) and stayed

there in the night. I did wait to see Mother Kali for 1 hour. But I could

not control my sleep. I think by mid-night, some body woke me up. I woke

up and looked at her. She was very pleasant, very young, looked very

adorable. She directly questioned me " Madhava! what are you doing here at

this night? " . I told her that I wanted to Mother Kali. She smiled and

asked " why you wanted to see her? " . I told her that I am just curious to

find why every body is scared of her. She smiled and told me that people

are scared with their own shadows, hence they can't see Mother Kali. I felt

very happy to see her. I asked her " Are you Mother Kali? " . She replied

" Yes! " . I asked her " what is the proof that you are mother Kali " . She

laughed loud and told that she expected this question from me. She told me

that I am going to meet the " real teacher of my life " the next day. She

also told me that I wouldn't realize it till I meet her again after 12

years. After telling me about various things, she finally told me that I

should go home and sleep. I obeyed. Normally, the priest locks the main

doors of the temple premises, that day, miraculously the temple doors were

kept opened. I went home, my uncle was very much worried about me. They

are all awake. They asked me where I went. I told them that I went to see

mother Kali. He asked me whether I saw her. I told Yes. He was worried.

The next day, he did a homa and instructed me to be obedient to Kali.

 

In the after noon, my uncle called me and asked me to go along with him. I

went with him in his car. Incidentally, my uncle (father's eldest brother)

was the man who invited Swamy Chinmayananda to Guntur for his first ever

lectures in Costal Andhrapradesh in the year 1954. He is also a founder

member and first general secretary of Chinmaya Mission, Guntur. He took me

to a place where paadapuja was being performed to a sanyasini called Swamini

Saradapriyananda, Chinmaya Mission. My uncle became busy with discussions

with other people. I got curious at the elderly lady who was sitting high

in a chair, decorated with garlands. I went and asked her " who are you " :-)

My uncle was very upset that I asked her this. She replied that " she knows

who she is... " taking my question quite seriously. Because of my behavior

my uncle drove me back to home immediately after the bhiksa (lunch). I did

not get a chance to speak to her again for 10 years of my later life. I met

her again, along with my sister, at a Bhagawat Gita jnanayagna place in

Chilakaluripet. By that time I realized that, as per Mother Kali's

instructions, she is my teacher. She taught me Vedanta....

 

I have three mothers. The one who gave me birth, " Lakshmi prasanna

Savitri " ... The one who gave me my first food " annapurna " , the one who

taught me real education " Saarada " .. I bow to them from my heart, ever

humble, thanking them for the privilege they gave me.

 

mAdhavagurO dayA bandhO mAdhava jnAna dAyinee

madhu vAgmaya tAptyarthaM SAradAM praNamAmyahaM ||