Christmas Cheer :)

[Guest guest]

" Tim Davis "

 

Thanks to Tamee Feriante for this one.

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A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

 

" What Denomination? " Asked the clerk.

 

" Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? " said the woman.

 

" Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.

 

Leaking Gift..

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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought

presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher

a gift. She shook it, held it up and said,

" I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers! "

 

" That's right! " shouted the little boy.

 

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift

She held it up, shook it and said.

" I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy! "

 

" That's right! " shouted the little girl.

 

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher

held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with

her finger and tasted it.

" Is it wine? " she asked.

 

" No, " the boy answered.

 

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

" Is it champagne? " she asked.

 

" No, " the boy answered.

 

Finally, the teacher said, " I give up. What is it? "

 

The boy replied, " A puppy! "

 

 

 

Christmas Quickies I

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The 3 stages of man:

He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.

He is Santa Claus.

 

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit

gets all the credit.

 

 

A small boy wrote in a Christmas Card to his Aunt:

" And I want to thank you for all the presents you have

sent in the past, as well as all the ones you are

*going* to send me this Christmas. "

Email Mistakes

 

A man was down in Florida on Vacation, his wife was on a business trip and

was planning on joining him the next day. When the man arrived he decided

to send his wife an email, unfortunately he had lost the piece of paper on

which he had written her email address. He wrote her address from his

memory and sent her the email anyway.

 

Unfortunately he was one letter off and his email ended up going to a

preacher's wife whose husband had just died. The preacher's wife read this

email, let out a scream and passed out......her family came rushing in to

see what was wrong and saw the message.......

 

" My darling wife, I just checked in and am having a wonderful time. I can't

wait until your arrival tomorrow.

 

Your Loving Husband

 

p.s. Boy is it hot down here! "

 

 

 

 

If any joke here is copyrighted, please notify us; it'll be removed. All

jokes are meant to smile up faces & aren't to be taken seriously.

Vivekananda Centre