: ) for the middle of the week.....

[Guest guest]

middle of the week humour : )

 

.......dilip

 

 

Thanks to Anne Clouse for this one with a few repeats but many for the first

time on this list.

**************************************

 

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it

on the cost of living.

 

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

 

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

 

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

 

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone

would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 

Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.

 

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

 

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's

population.

 

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

 

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who

got there first.

 

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

 

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

 

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

 

When you swim in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

 

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

 

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

 

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

 

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people

that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

 

: )