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Mid week Humour : )

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This material came from Jody : )

 

<JodyHolly1

<vivekananda

02 March 2000 16:13

For your Enjoyment!

 

The judge read the charges, then asked,

 

" Are you the defendant in this case? "

 

" No sir, your honor, sir, " replied my brother,

" I've got a lawyer to do the defendin.' I'm the guy who done it. "

 

==========================

 

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the

personality to be an accountant.

 

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that

decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

(Laurence J.Peter)

 

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a

way you don't understand.

 

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which

isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)

 

A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup

and a doughnut.

 

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it

a " brief. " (Franz Kafka)

 

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful

girl enters the room.

 

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

 

A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she

liked children.

 

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells

you the time.

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