: )

[Guest guest]

Thanks to Walter Smith

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, " Mom, guess

what? We learned how to make babies today. "

 

The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, " That's

interesting. How do you make babies? "

 

" It's simple, " replied the girl. " You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'. "

 

==============

 

Quick Wit:

 

WIFE: " There's trouble with the car. It has water in the

carburetor. "

 

HUSBAND: " Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous. "

 

WIFE: " I tell you the car has water in the carburetor. "

 

HUSBAND: " You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll

check it out. Where's the car? "

 

WIFE: " In the pool. "

 

==================

 

Karate Dog!

 

 

There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled

with crime. After three neighbours houses had been robbed.

The couple decided to get a guard dog. So one day the wife

went to the pet store and said 'I need a good guard dog.'

 

And the clerk replied 'Sorry, we're all sold out, all we

have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.'

 

The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog,

'Karate that chair.'

The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces!

Then he said to the dog, 'Karate that table.'

The dog went up to the table and broke it in half!

 

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband

who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her

husband that it knew karate, and he said angrily,

'Karate my foot!!'

 

And to this very day he is still in the hospital...

 

==================================

 

Fun Things to do in an Elevator:

 

- Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your

head.

- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

- Shave.

- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,

-without getting off.

- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm

-handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:

- " Oh, not now... motion sickness! "

- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

- Leave a box between the doors.

- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button

-for them.

- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers

" through " it.

 

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