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A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be

admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to

see if the guy is worthy.

 

St. Peter goes through the Book several times, furrows his

brow and says to the guy, 'You know, I can't see that you

ever did anything really bad in

your life, but you never did anything really good either. If

you can point to even one REALLY GOOD DEED-- you're in.'

 

The guy thinks for a moment and says, 'Yeah, there was this

one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant

group of thugs assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my

car to see what was going on and sure enough,

there they were, about 50 of 'em harassing this terrified

young woman.

 

Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of

my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy

with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his

nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the thugs

formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain

off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire

iron. Layed him out. Then I turned and yelled at the rest of

them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a

bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you

all a lesson in pain!''

 

St. Peter, impressed, says, 'Really? When did this happen?'

 

'Oh, about two minutes ago.'

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