Middle age : )

[Guest guest]

Sometimes it is necessary to get things into perspective

 

This came on the internet.......jay

: )

 

Middle age........

Signs that you are getting on.......

------------

 

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else

starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

 

~ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory.

I forget the other two.

 

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just

as long as you don't have to go along.

 

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more

work.

 

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to

every man. Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

 

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office

start confiding in you.

 

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

 

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to

go anywhere.

 

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have

begun to grow in the middle.

 

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by

his doctor instead of by the police.

 

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the

only thing you care to exercise.

 

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get

it started.

 

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling,

and you didn't do anything the night before.

 

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

 

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is

that you are not a hypochondriac.

 

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

 

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

 

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

 

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask

yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down

there.

 

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't

remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

 

: )