Collection of funnies for the weekend..... : )

[Guest guest]

Some humour for the weekend : )

from: Seeta at Vivekananda Centre London

 

 

This came from Tim Davies=====

 

The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the

children's ward.

 

" Are you medical or surgical? " asked the first, who had been in the

ward for a week.

 

" I don't know what you mean, " replied the second.

 

" It's simple, " replied the first. " Were you sick when you came in

here? Or did they make you sick when you got here? "

 

========

 

1. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,

gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep

down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

 

2. There is a very fine line between " hobby " and " mental illness. "

 

3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost

never want you to share yours with them.

 

4. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race

has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that

word would be " meetings. "

 

5. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to

annoy people who are not in them.

 

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

 

7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one

individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.

Very often, that individual is crazy.

 

 

====you are in Arizona======

 

 

You know you are from Arizona when:

 

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

 

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

 

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

 

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

 

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

 

===========

 

Chinese for Dummies

 

 

<< This is an easy Chinese lesson for all of you! >>

 

Are you harboring a fugitive?

- Hu Yu Hai Ding?

(who you hi-ding?)

 

See me A.S.A.P.

- Kum Hia Nao

 

Stupid Man

- Dum Gai

 

Small Horse

- Tai Ni Po Ni

 

I think you need a facelift.

- Chin Tu Fat

 

This is a tow-away zone.

- No Pah King

 

Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena?

- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

 

You are not very bright.

- Yu So Dum

 

Stay out of sight.

- Lei Lo

 

Your body odor is offensive.

- Yu stin ki pu