Mid week humour : )

[Guest guest]

Some mid-week humour : )

 

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!

 

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

 

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

 

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning " tone deaf " .

 

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

 

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

 

" Normal " : A setting on a washing machine.

 

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

 

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

 

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

 

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

 

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

 

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

 

===========

 

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing

and support staff of one company.

 

The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.

 

To show just " how " the marketing department earns their keep, they

posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game:

 

" The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 1996

Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all

year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as

they won only one game. "

 

===============

A man asked his wife, " What would you most like for your birthday? "

 

She said, " I'd love to be ten again. "

 

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off

they went to a theme park.

 

He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, the Screaming

Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.

 

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling

and her stomach upside down.

 

Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with

extra fries and a strawberry shake.

 

Then off to a theater to see Star Wars along with more burgers,

popcorn, cola and sweets.

 

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

 

Her husband leaned over and asked, " Well, dear, what was it like being

ten again? "

 

One eye opened and she groaned, " Actually I meant dress size. "

 

=============== : ) ========