Mid week : )

[Guest guest]

As usual we inject some humour on to the list......

 

 

Some school humour : )

=================

 

Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and

college test papers and essays submitted to science and

health teachers (spelling errors preserved)....

 

" When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you

expire. "

 

" Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin

is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. "

 

" Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and

caterpillars. "

 

" Blood flows down one leg and up the other. "

 

" Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and

then expectoration. "

 

" The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even

deader. "

 

" Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and

makes them perspire. "

 

" A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it

can hold. "

 

" Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like

umbrellas. "

 

" The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax

and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain,

the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable

cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i,

o, and u. "

 

" The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of

Indiana. "

 

" The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water

tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the

moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun

joins in this fight. "

 

" A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more

extinct it is. "

 

" Germinate: To become a naturalized German. "

 

" Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away. "

 

" Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky. "

 

" Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot. "

 

" Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives. "

 

" Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is

affirmative or negative. "

 

" For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until

the heart stops. "

 

" For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and

down to make artifical perspiration. "

 

" For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has

not recovered, then kill it. "

 

" For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the

patient is dead. "

 

" To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow. "

 

 

: )

 

============