Weekend humour : )

[Guest guest]

As usual we inject some humour on the spiritual list

A bit on the sly side : )

 

 

Infected watermelons

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The was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing

pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who

would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat

watermelons...

 

After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea

that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he

made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day

the kids showed up and they saw his sign:

'Warning, one of the watermelons in this field

has been injected with Cyanide'

 

Well the kids were bright and not about to risk another

watermelon. They ran off, made up their own sign and

posted it next to the sign that the farmer made.

 

The next day the farmer showed up to look over the field

and he noticed to his delight that no watermelons are

missing. He was perplexed, however, by a sign next to

his. He drove his tractor up to the sign which read:

'Now there are TWO!'

 

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Easy Operations

-----------------------

 

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best

patients to operate on.

 

The first surgeon says, " I like to see accountants on

my operating table, because when you open them up,

everything inside is numbered. "

 

The second responds, " Yeah, but you should try

electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded! "

 

The third surgeon says, " No, I really think file clerks

are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical

order... "

 

The fourth surgeon chimes in: " You know, I like

construction workers. Those guys always understand when

you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the

job takes longer than you said it would. "

 

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he said,

" You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to

operate on. They have no guts, no heart, and no spine,

and the head and butt are interchangeable!! "

 

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Smart Astrologer

-----------------------

 

A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his

favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the

woman died a short time later. The king was outraged

at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had

brought about the woman's death. He summoned the

astrologer and commanded him:

" Tell me when will YOU die! "

 

The astrologer realized that the king was planning

to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave.

 

" I do not know when I will die, " he answered finally.

" I only know that whenever I die, the king will die

three days later... "

 

 

: )