[ramakrishna] : )

[Guest guest]

For some reason I am not getting any messages from Ramakrishna- egroup

for almost a week. Please check it from your side. I am receiving

messages from other sources. There is nothing wrong in my computer.

Thank you. Thakur bless you all.

Pankaj Ghosh

atul4

______________

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[Guest guest]

Dear All Thanks for all the humour. We are all enjoying every mail and

really getting better every day

 

Now a small intersting bit fom here. A Japanes ewho was visiting India

took a taxi to go to the airport..During the journey, a Honda over took them

and the Japanese yelled in excitement , and told the driver, " Honda ! very

fast! Made in Japan! " . Subsequently , a Toyota and Mitsubushi over took

them., and each time the japanese yelled at the driver : " Very fast! Made in

Japan ! " . Finally they reached the airport, and fare came to Rs. 800/-. The

Japanese exclaimed, " What so expensive ? " . The taxi driver yelled back. "

Meter very fast!. Made in India " . From our Hindu.

-

Vivekananda Centre <vivekananda

Self Knowledge List <selfknow-l; list

<Ramakrishna >; viv list <vivekananda >

Sunday, March 04, 2001 3:44 PM

[ramakrishna] : )

 

 

> Weekend humour .....

>

> QUICK WIT:

>

> Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than

> an ambulance!

>

>

> ========

>

> Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies.

>

> -It is always possible to park directly outside any building

> you are visiting.

>

> -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended

> from duty.

>

> -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you

> bump into will know all the steps.

>

> -It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight

> involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to

> attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening

> manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

>

> -Police Departments give their officers personality tests to

> make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is

> their total opposite.

>

> -When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English

> to each other.

>

> -Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in

> seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a

> child trapped inside.

>

> -Television news bulletins usually contain a story that

> affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the

> television on.

>

> ==============

>

> One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother

> from the first child to the last.

>

> She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:

>

> " When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance.

>

> When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming

> out of his allowance. "

>

> =========

>

>

>

>

>

> Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah

> Vivekananda Centre London

> http://www.vivekananda.co.uk

>

>

[Guest guest]

Adding further humour

 

Nortther Territory in Australia is perhaps the hottest place on earth where

mercury touches 50. At one of the towns in the territory following hoarding

was put by a Funeral Agency.

 

'Ohhhhhh what a heat!! You may be thinking it is better to die than to live.

If you so decide, call us Free call 1800............................'

 

Regards

 

Yours sincerely

Milind Sathye

Department of Finance and Banking

University of Southern Queensland

Toowoomba, Queensland 4350

Australia

Phone 61 +7 + 4631 5509

Fax 61+ 7 + 4631 2625

web page: http://www.usq.edu.au/users/sathye

 

 

 

 

Vivekananda Centre [vivekananda]

Friday, 20 April 2001 4:42

list; Self Knowledge List; viv list

[ramakrishna] : )

 

 

Bit of humour for the list.....

 

 

Funny Thoughts

" In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness you send out for it. "

- Rex Reed

----------------------------

QUICK WIT:

 

What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted.

-----------------

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't

zigzag?

-----------------------------

 

Rude man..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over dinner, my wife said to me,

" I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning,

and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started

to insult me; he used really bad language; he even

threatened me! "

 

" How did you meet this fellow? " I asked, very concerned.

 

She said, " Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the

car. "

 

: )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah

Vivekananda Centre London

http://www.vivekananda.co.uk

 

 

[Guest guest]

THANK YOU THAT REALLY HELP ME

 

 

Weekend Humour for the list.......

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

*Age*

 

I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I

can ask where I left my glasses.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was

a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took

him into his study and said: " I'll make a deal with you. You bring your

grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and then we'll talk

about it. "

 

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they

could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study

where the father said: " Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought

your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get

your hair cut. "

 

The young man waited a moment and then replied: " You know Dad, I've been

thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair,

Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair. "

 

The rabbi said: " Yes, and they walked everywhere they went. "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah

Vivekananda Centre London

http://www.vivekananda.co.uk