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[ramakrishna] Confessions....I

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Despite the fact that i really enjoyed this " Confession..I " i am dreading

reading any more of your confessions. These are really close to home and in my

83rd year now, it leaves me quite depressed...i cant seem to think of floating

away to " unknown realms " without a chill down my spine..

 

this probably shows how long i have to go, spiritually, i suppose...but i would

be grateful if no more " confessions " came....!

 

yet, i enjoy reading the truth behind these messages...

 

msj

--

 

On Wed, 24 Jan 2001 23:11:09

jairam seshadri wrote:

>It is said in the Hindu scriptures, that when we die we float away to

>unknown realms, carrying with us our desires and regrets, our unwept tears

>and our soul's cravings...only to return to play this life out, anew, to

>fulfill those very cravings, to cry those unwept tears.

>

>Well, whenever, I meditate, odd incidents from my past that are stored away

>in the dark recesses and crevices of my mind, spew out, leaving me

>remembering and perhaps regretting, or smiling...wanting to experience

>more...

>

>More often than not, however, it is a pang,a feeling of " if only i had... "

>or " wish vanity had not taken hold then... "

>

>Sometimes tears are shed...at other times, the regrets just hang over,

>brooding, like a dark cloud...like a pall of wet gloom...

>

>One such incident dawned the other day...a regret that i will surely come

>back to redress another life...

>

>(I share and confess, wishing to wash the guilt away...I have so many after

>all...!, i hope to share all with all as they sprout from within, just so in

>the hope that some regrets are indeed truly washed away ...)

>

>It is said that when we begin to meditate, the residue within, is washed

>out, not unlike an old and dried up inkpot. The more we wash that inkpot,

>the more ink seems to come out...at least in the initial stages.

>

>How true...!

>

>So Here Goes!!

>

>CONFESSION # I

>

> " Whenever I break the shell of a hard-boiled egg,

>I remember Prasad...

>our something-teen cook,

>26 years ago...

>

>On a train journey...of over 2 days!

>My mother, my brother and I

>Off to Siliguri

>In the North Eastern Frontier of India...bordering China...

>to meet up with my father, stationed there..

>

>Prasad, in glee,...

>enthralled and enlivened

>smiling and reticent...

>accompanying...

>He was one of us after all...most of the time...

>whenever we allowed him to be so...

>

>And i remember, in a station

>after several hours of travel

>a vendor with a wired metal basket

>full of hard boiled eggs

>

>young as i was i pleaded

>and my brother too in unison...

>hard boiled eggs!

>with salt and hot pepper and black pepper

>Yummmmmy!

>

>Sounds corny to the Western mind...?

>well In India anything goes!

>Revel in it!

>and we did!

>

>But what about Prasad?

>he merely looked away!

>Looked askance as we broke the shells

>his mouth watering...

>desiring, yet suppressing,

>

>Nay! Transcending!

>

>And now 26 years later!

>whenever i break the shell of a hard-boiled egg

>i remember him in tears...

>i remember, cannot believing that we ate without...

>i remember gobbling without so much as a pang

>let alone a share...

>

>Surely, surely...

>i will have to...have to come back

>to redress that wound...

>

>Prasad! what would i not give to give you a hard-boiled egg... now!

>

> " In Life Always Assume The Position Of a Giver "

>

>_______________________

>Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

>

>

>

 

 

Get your small business started at Lycos Small Business at

http://www.lycos.com/business/mail.html

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Dear Maria:

i had no intention of causing anything other than light entertainment.

In deference to your wishes i will not post anymore " confessions " .

Admittedly they can be a little heavy for some...!

jairam

 

> " Maria S Jewison " <maria_jewison

>Ramakrishna

>Ramakrishna

>Re: [ramakrishna] Confessions....I

>Sat, 27 Jan 2001 15:04:39 -0800

>

>Despite the fact that i really enjoyed this " Confession..I " i am dreading

>reading any more of your confessions. These are really close to home and in

>my 83rd year now, it leaves me quite depressed...i cant seem to think of

>floating away to " unknown realms " without a chill down my spine..

>

>this probably shows how long i have to go, spiritually, i suppose...but i

>would be grateful if no more " confessions " came....!

>

>yet, i enjoy reading the truth behind these messages...

>

>msj

>--

>

>On Wed, 24 Jan 2001 23:11:09

> jairam seshadri wrote:

> >It is said in the Hindu scriptures, that when we die we float away to

> >unknown realms, carrying with us our desires and regrets, our unwept

>tears

> >and our soul's cravings...only to return to play this life out, anew, to

> >fulfill those very cravings, to cry those unwept tears.

> >

> >Well, whenever, I meditate, odd incidents from my past that are stored

>away

> >in the dark recesses and crevices of my mind, spew out, leaving me

> >remembering and perhaps regretting, or smiling...wanting to experience

> >more...

> >

> >More often than not, however, it is a pang,a feeling of " if only i

>had... "

> >or " wish vanity had not taken hold then... "

> >

> >Sometimes tears are shed...at other times, the regrets just hang over,

> >brooding, like a dark cloud...like a pall of wet gloom...

> >

> >One such incident dawned the other day...a regret that i will surely come

> >back to redress another life...

> >

> >(I share and confess, wishing to wash the guilt away...I have so many

>after

> >all...!, i hope to share all with all as they sprout from within, just so

>in

> >the hope that some regrets are indeed truly washed away ...)

> >

> >It is said that when we begin to meditate, the residue within, is washed

> >out, not unlike an old and dried up inkpot. The more we wash that inkpot,

> >the more ink seems to come out...at least in the initial stages.

> >

> >How true...!

> >

> >So Here Goes!!

> >

> >CONFESSION # I

> >

> > " Whenever I break the shell of a hard-boiled egg,

> >I remember Prasad...

> >our something-teen cook,

> >26 years ago...

> >

> >On a train journey...of over 2 days!

> >My mother, my brother and I

> >Off to Siliguri

> >In the North Eastern Frontier of India...bordering China...

> >to meet up with my father, stationed there..

> >

> >Prasad, in glee,...

> >enthralled and enlivened

> >smiling and reticent...

> >accompanying...

> >He was one of us after all...most of the time...

> >whenever we allowed him to be so...

> >

> >And i remember, in a station

> >after several hours of travel

> >a vendor with a wired metal basket

> >full of hard boiled eggs

> >

> >young as i was i pleaded

> >and my brother too in unison...

> >hard boiled eggs!

> >with salt and hot pepper and black pepper

> >Yummmmmy!

> >

> >Sounds corny to the Western mind...?

> >well In India anything goes!

> >Revel in it!

> >and we did!

> >

> >But what about Prasad?

> >he merely looked away!

> >Looked askance as we broke the shells

> >his mouth watering...

> >desiring, yet suppressing,

> >

> >Nay! Transcending!

> >

> >And now 26 years later!

> >whenever i break the shell of a hard-boiled egg

> >i remember him in tears...

> >i remember, cannot believing that we ate without...

> >i remember gobbling without so much as a pang

> >let alone a share...

> >

> >Surely, surely...

> >i will have to...have to come back

> >to redress that wound...

> >

> >Prasad! what would i not give to give you a hard-boiled egg... now!

> >

> > " In Life Always Assume The Position Of a Giver "

> >

> >_______________________

> >Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>Get your small business started at Lycos Small Business at

>http://www.lycos.com/business/mail.html

>

 

_______________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

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