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[Guest guest]

Weekend humour for the list............

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A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and

tapped him on the shoulder.

 

The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over.

 

The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches

from a shop window.

 

The startled passenger said, " I didn't mean to frighten you, I just wanted

to ask you something. "

 

The Taxi driver said, " It's not your fault sir. It's my first day as a cab

driver.

 

I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years! "

 

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*More Church Bulletin Humor*

 

Women's Luncheon:

Each member bring a sandwich.

Polly Phillips will give the medication.

 

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the

church building and the rector.

 

Hymn: " I Love Thee My Ford. "

 

Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.

 

The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.

 

Thank you, dead friends.

 

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

 

Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.

 

The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.

 

We pray that our people will jumble themselves.

 

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Little Johnny sat playing in the garden.

 

When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a

worm.

 

She turned pale. " No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat

worms! "

 

Trying to convince him further she noted, " Now the mother worm is looking

all over for her nice baby worm. "

 

" No, she isn't, " said Johnny.

 

" How do you know she's not? " said the mother.

 

" Because I ate her first! " answered Little Johnny.

 

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A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party.

 

" What do you do if you make a mistake on a case? "

the minister asked.

 

" Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant, "

replied the lawyer. " What do you do? "

 

The minister replied " Oh, more or less the same.

Let me give you an example.

The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but

instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go. "

 

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