Request for Ramakrishna Digest .

[Guest guest]

Please send me the Ramakrishna Digest instead of

individual mails, please.

Renuka

 

--- Vivekananda Centre <vivekananda

wrote: > From time to time we send in humour to this

list

> dedicated to spirituality.

> Sometimes the humour is a bit iffy. : )

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> A bum asked a man on the street for two dollars.

>

> " Will you buy booze? " the man asks, to which the bum

> replies, " No. "

>

> " Will you gamble it away? " Once again the bum

> replies, " No. "

>

> " Will you make bets at the golf course? " Once again

> the bum replies " No, I

> don't play golf "

>

> Then the man asks, " Will you come home with me so my

> wife can see what

> happens to a man who doesn't drink, gamble or play

> golf? "

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> The other day I was preparing another one of my

> gourmet

> meals. I asked my wife to go over to the local

> market

> and buy some organic vegetables for the evening

> meal.

>

> She came back rather upset.

>

> I asked her what happened and she replied, " That

> produce

> guy is a real jerk. He must think I'm blonde or

> something! "

>

> " But you are blonde, " I reminded her.

>

> " Not that way. He thought I was stupid or something.

> I went and looked around for your organic vegetables

> and I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the

> organic vegetables were. He didn't seem to

> understand

> so I said:

>

> 'These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been

> sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'

>

> The produce guy looked at me and said,

> 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself.' "

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary

> school today and he

> visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the

> middle of a discussion

> related to words and their meanings.

>

> The teacher asks the President if he would like to

> lead the class in the

> discussion of the word, " tragedy. " So the president

> asks the class for an

> example of a " tragedy. "

>

> One little boy stands up and offers, " If my best

> friend, who lives next

> door, is playing in the street and a car comes along

> and runs him over, that

> would be a tragedy. "

>

> " No " says Bush, " that would be an accident. "

>

> A little girl raises her hand: " If a school bus

> carrying 50 children drove

> off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would

> be a tragedy. "

>

> " I'm afraid not " explains the President. " That's

> what we would call a GREAT

> LOSS. "

>

> The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

> President Bush searches

> the room. " Isn't there someone here who can give me

> an example of a

> tragedy? "

>

> Finally, way in the back of the room, a boy named

> Johnny raises his hand. In

> a quiet voice he says, " If Air Force One, carrying

> you and Mrs. Bush, was

> struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens,

> that would be a tragedy.

>

> " Correct " exclaims Bush, " that's right. And can you

> tell me WHY that would

> be a tragedy? "

>

> " Well, " Lil' Johnny said, " because, like you just

> told us, it wouldn't be an

> accident, and it sure as hell wouldn't be a great

> loss. "

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> Airhead Airlines, Flight 101, is coming in for a

> landing, and the pilot is

> freaking out.

>

> The sweat is jumping off his brow.

>

> (Plane landing and screeching to a halt.) RRRtttt!

>

> He turns to the co-pilot, and he says,

>

> " Man, that is the *shortest* runway I ever landed

> on. "

>

> The co-pilot says, " Yeah, and so *wide*. "

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

>