What doctors are really thinking..... : )

[Guest guest]

As usual we send a little humour to the list once in a while......jay

 

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What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

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" This should be taken care of right away. "

I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this

is so easy and profitable

that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

 

" Welllllll, what have we here...? "

He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

 

" Let me check your medical history. "

I want to see if you've paid your last bill before

spending any more time with you.

 

" Why don't we make another appointment later in the week. "

I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.

 

" We have some good news and some bad news. "

The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.

The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

 

" Let's see how it develops. "

Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

 

" Let me schedule you for some tests. "

I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

 

" I'd like to prescribe a new drug. "

I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

 

" If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call. "

I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

 

" That's quite a nasty looking wound. "

I think I'm going to throw up.

 

" This may smart a little. "

Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

 

" Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...? "

I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

 

" This should fix you up. "

The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

 

" I'd like to run some more tests. "

I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this

one.

 

" There is a lot of that going around. "

That's the third one this week! I'd better learn something about this.

 

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A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

 

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight

of an eight-point buck.

 

" Where's Henry? "

 

" Henry had a nasty fall and broke both of his legs. He's a couple of miles

back up the trail. "

 

" You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?! "

 

" A tough call, " nodded the hunter, " but I figured no one is going to steal

Henry! "

 

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The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out

do anyone in a feat of strength.

 

He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

 

After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

 

" Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? " he said.

 

" I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over

to that building that you won't be able to wheel back. "

 

" You're on, old man, " the young guy replied.

 

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.

 

Then he turned to the young man and said, " Alright. Get in. "

 

: )