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Weekend : )

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The list devoted to spirituality needs a weekend break : )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A new minister was talking to the oldest member of his

congregation. " I am 90 years old, sir, and I haven't

an enemy in the world, " said the aged one.

 

" That is a beautiful thought, " said the minister approvingly.

 

" Yes sir, it sure is, " was the answer. " I'm thankful to

say that I've outlived 'em all!! "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day.

 

" Doc, there's something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby's high

chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum

foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe.

Can you tell me what the problem is? "

 

" Sure! " The doctor said. " You have way too much time on your hands! "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

THE " TWO-COW EXPLANATION " OF WHAT MAKES...

Part II

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an

ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once

a month, and milk themselves.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count

them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you

have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 

A MEXICAN CORPORATION:

You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You

take a nap.

 

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing

them for others.

 

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American

corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares

bankruptcy.

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them

 

 

jay : )

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