Funny signs : )

[Guest guest]

Dear List

 

From time to time we take the liberty of injecting

some humour to the list. Some members may : ) some may

 

Funny Signs!

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In the front yard of a funeral home, " Drive carefully, we'll

wait. "

 

On an electrician's truck, " Let us remove your shorts. "

 

On a front door, " Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian

except the dog. "

 

On a butcher's window, " Let me meat your needs. "

 

Outside a muffler shop, " No appointment necessary. We'll hear

you coming. "

 

In a Beauty Shop, " Dye now! "

 

On the side of a garbage truck, " We've got what it takes to take

what you've got. " (Burglars please copy.)

 

In a restaurant window, " Don't stand there and be hungry, come in

and get fed up. "

 

Inside a bowling alley, " Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin

drop. "

 

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Why You Might Want To Sign Off and Read a Book.

==============================

 

 

You say " he, he, he, he " or " heh, heh, heh " instead of laughing.

 

You say " SCROLL UP " when someone asks what it was you said.

 

You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.

 

You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant

message to.

 

You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore

button handy.

 

You start to experience " withdrawal " after not being online for a while.

 

Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... " BRB. Leave

your S/N and ^ll TTYL ASAP " .

 

You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

 

You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

 

You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......

 

You think faster than the computer.

 

You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and

**kisses**.

 

Being called a " newbie " is a major insult to you.

 

Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.

 

" Where did the time go? "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Police Quotes

.._._._._._._._.

 

" If you run, you'll only go to jail tired. "

 

" So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that

means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? "

 

" Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to

do that again or I'll give you another ticket. "

 

" The answer to this last question will determine whether you

are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog? "

 

" Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid. "

 

" No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas,

but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want. "

 

" In God we trust, all others are suspects! "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~