Weekend : )

[Guest guest]

Even though this list is devoted to serious spiritual topics,

we take the liberty of posting some humour from time to time....

 

jay : )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery

store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like

to tease him. They say he is two bricks short of a load, or two pickles shy

of a barrel.

 

To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and

a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

 

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to

one side and said, " Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you

don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the

nickel because it's bigger, or what? "

 

Junior said, " Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it! "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A boy, who was a witness in court, was asked by a lawyer:

 

" Did anyone tell you what to say in court? "

 

" Yes, sir. "

 

" I thought so! Who was it? "

 

" My father, sir. "

 

" And what did he tell you? "

 

" He said the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to

the truth, I would be all right. "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat.

" The secret, " she said, " is to get the left part of the zipper

to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up. "

 

The boy looked at her quizzically...

" Why does it have to be a secret? "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: " Husband wanted " .

Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the

same thing: " You can have mine. "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As an instructor in driver education at the local area High

School, I've learned that even the brightest students can

become flustered behind the wheel.

 

One day I had three beginners in the car, each

scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.

 

When the first student had completed his time, I asked

him to change places with one of the others.

 

Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead,

he asked in a shaky voice, " Should I stop the car first? "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~