Guest guest Posted March 25, 2002 Report Share Posted March 25, 2002 Thanks for the smile. Loved the new endings of the proverbs. Anup - " Vivekananda Centre " <vivekananda " list " <Ramakrishna >; " Self Knowledge List " <selfknow-l Saturday, March 23, 2002 6:57 PM [sri Ramakrishna] Proverbs : ) > From time to time we send humour to this list devoted > to spiritual matters... : ) > > Proverbs > > A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. > She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb > and had them come up with the rest of it. > > 1.. As you shall make your bed so shall you.....mess it up. > 2.. Better be safe than...........punch a 5th grader. > 3.. Strike while the............................bug is close. > 4.. It's always darkest before......daylight savings time. > 5.. You can lead a horse to water but...........how? > 6.. Don't bite the hand that....................looks dirty. > 7.. A miss is as good as a......................Mr. > 8.. You can't teach an old dog new..............math. > 9.. An idle mind is...............the best way to relax. > l0.. Where there's smoke, there's...............pollution. > 11.. Happy the bride who..............gets all the presents. > 12.. A penny saved is...........................not much. > 13.. Two's company, three's.....................the musketeers. > 14.. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...... > .....you have to blow your nose. > 15.. Children should be seen and not......spanked or grounded. > 16.. When the blind leadeth the blind......get out of the way! > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Employer's Lingo : ) > > " COMPETITIVE SALARY " > We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. > > " JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM " > We have no time to train you. > > " CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE " > We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, > a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. > > " MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED " > You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. > > " SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED " > Some time each night and some time each weekend. > > " DUTIES WILL VARY " > Anyone in the office can boss you around. > > " MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL " > We have no quality control. > > " CAREER-MINDED " > Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). > > " APPLY IN PERSON " > If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has > been filled. > > " SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE " > You'll need it to replace three people who just left. > > " PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST " > You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. > > " REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS " > You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the > pay or respect. > > " GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS " > Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they > want and do it. > > : ) > > Sri Ramakrishnaye Namah > Vivekananda Centre London > http://www.vivekananda.co.uk > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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