UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS … Swami Tejomayananda - 1 to 5

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Dear All,

 

Love and Love alone....

 

In the recent past, I have posted these five parts, afterwards there

was a gap. I am, therefore, posting again the first five parts in one

go today and from tomorrow onwards, I will post the remaining parts

daily two-paragraphs.

 

Love and Love alone....

 

P. Gopi Krishna

 

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UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS … Swami Tejomayananda

 

1. Mostly, everyone is familiar with the evaluation of IQ

(Intelligence Quotient), but in the last few years there has also

been a great deal of talk about EQ, the Emotional Quotient! I am not

too familiar with all the literature available on this topic, but I

do know that we all have emotions and they affect us everyday. When

we observe our lives closely we notice three aspects to it; action,

emotion (feeling), and thought. We may consider these aspects as

being separate but actually they are not, for there cannot be any

action without thought and feeling. However, for the purpose of

analysis we separate them and say that at the physical level there is

action, at the mind (heart) level there is emotion, and at the

intellectual level there is thought. Yet we know that action is not

only at the physical level, since mental and intellectual activity

takes place along with each physical act. And even though thinking

and emotions are at the thought level the texture of each is a little

different. We know that thinking is not the same as feeling for each

has to different effect. For example, there are people who are highly

intellectual, they speak and write very logically, yet they often

fail to touch the hearts of other people. There are some who perform

spectacular acts yet their actions do not really affect anyone. While

some people appear to do very little, somehow those little actions

touch people's hearts. We see the same with music, a musician may

present a technically perfect piece of music yet be unable to delight

the hearts of the listeners while a simple rendition with intense

feeling may move everyone.

 

Thus what we refer to as emotions, feelings and attitudes are all at

the emotional level -- at the level of our hearts -- and they have an

important role to play. In fact, feelings are involved in all our

thoughts and actions. One may wonder if people are generally more

emotional or rational. It is my feeling that we are essentially more

emotional. Even those who consider themselves rational and

scientific, also have their emotional side, sometimes to the point of

being quite unreasonable. We see that they also have their own pet

theories and have great attachment to them. This is why fanaticism is

found not only among some religious groups but it is also seen among

people in science, politics and economics.

 

2. We find that we are blessed with a thinking intellect and

a " feeling " heart, the mind. Animals also have emotions, but their

patterns of emotions, actions, and reactions are predictable as they

are governed by nature, whereas in the case of human beings

everything is unpredictable. We can consider it as a blessing or a

curse, but what a person will do, think, or feel at any given time is

unknown.

 

Sometimes we wonder, " Why did he/she act in this way? They should

have acted differently. " But how do we know what we would have done

if we had been there? For example, the other day someone was

discussing that Bhishma and Drona (historical characters from the

epic, Mahabharata) were also present in the assembly when Draupadi

was being dishonoured. We know that neither of them said anything to

Duryodhana, nor did they intervene to stop the atrocious deed. We may

wonder why Bhishma did not act honourably at that time, but let's

face it, when our own children talk back to us what do we do? We just

try to handle it in the best way that we can. We may say that if we

had been there we would have acted in a certain way, but how do we

know? Our thoughts, action, and emotions take on different colours at

different times and in different situations.

 

3. Thus it is a fact that we respond to life through thought, feeling

and action. Many times, our thoughts may be directed in a certain

way, but our emotions and feelings may be quite different, and our

actions may be completely contrary to them. All our spiritual

practices are meant to bring integration of these three. One who has

brought integration between his thoughts, emotions, and actions is a

master, for he alone lives in peace and harmony.

 

For the purpose of our study, we can classify people into three

groups. In the first group, there are people who are highly

integrated, but choose to act negatively; they may think, feel and

act consistently, but in a wicked way. It is easier to deal with such

people than with those who think and speak nicely, but act

differently! At least we know that they are wicked in thought, word

and action, but such integration is never helpful for it is not used

in a constructive way.

 

4. The second example is that of people who think lofty thoughts but

do not live up to them. Their emotional world is at variance with

their thoughts and actions; there is disharmony. They themselves do

not know how to handle the disparity that exits between their thought

and action, between emotion and thought, and emotion and action.

Others also do not know what will suddenly flare up! It is not easy

to deal with such people for their emotions play havoc both with them

and others.

 

There is a third group of people who have perfect integration of

thought, feeling, and action; we consider them a wise and saintly

people. They present no problem. It is the in-between stage that is

always a problem. There is a saying in Sanskrit that all sorrows

exist for the thinking man. Those who are ignorant and do not think

do not have any problems; they live life as it comes. Those who are

wise and enlightened also have no problem. But the in-between state --

neither ignorant, nor enlightened, neither wise nor otherwise -- is

a very peculiar situation.

 

5. Paying Attention

 

Thus our lives are governed to a great extent by our emotions. Our

thinking may be great and thought-provoking but the problems that we

face are mainly at the emotional level. A while ago, along with

regular lectures, we organized a series of workshops with questions

and answers for different groups of participants. I discovered that,

firstly, no one had any questions on the topic! Secondly, the

questions asked were only about personal problems from an emotional

level. These groups consisted of professionals, industrialists, and

householders. The householders may have asked how to deal with

children whereas the businessmen asked how to deal with employees,

but the problems they had were of a similar nature. They wanted to

know how to deal with praise and criticism, or success and failure.

All were emotional issues that every one of us goes through, whether

in the form of desire, anger, or jealousy. At times we all become

angry, or feel jealous or frustrated, bet later, we calm down. It may

happen repeatedly, but we do come out of it eventually. But if we do

not deal with those emotions they become thought fixations, turning

into an obsession or mania that will require treatment. It is,

therefore, extremely important that we pay attention to our emotions!

 

In the present time, we give too much attention to our physical and

intellectual development. There is an explosion of information; we

are becoming smarter and smarter every day, but we do not know how to

handle our emotions. This is becoming more evident. Suicide rates are

on the rise among the youth, the educated, and the rich. It is a

cause of great concern. This happens only because we do not pay

attention to our emotions. We often hope that problems will get

resolved automatically. But nothing happens automatically except for

growing old, no effort is required for that. Yet if some wants to

grow old gracefully, then effort is definitely required! We need to

recognize the seriousness of this topic, for unless we pay attention

to our emotions, problems will remain.