Be Good .... To Yourself Please!

[Guest guest]

As soon as we enrol ourselves in the programme called life, the

lessons start right away! Lesson number one is delivered through a

whack you get on your bums from your mum's obstetrician. It helps us

make a perfect bawling entry in this world. And it also makes you

learn early in life that even when you are crying your lungs out, you

had better give a good performance! That’s how important being good

is for us mortals!

 

Rest of the lessons follow with time. And this number is directly

proportional to your eagerness to learn, absorb and grow. Teachers

are many! Parents who bring you in this world, siblings and other

family members you grow up with, your ever expanding gang of friends,

all the acquaintances contribute in countless little ways. Of course,

circumstances at every turn and event of life keep daring to throw

surprises at us. As we deal with one incident after another, the

choice to become bitter or better is entirely ours.

 

As I take a trip down memory lane, there is a mixed bag of some sharp

and blurred images. A little girl in her pigtails emerges out of

these images, often times she is in the company of her dad, her hero!

My dad never had to sermonise, never had to use to many words. The

way he lived his life, the way he loved people close to his heart,

all one wanted to do was to emulate him, copy his every move, his

style and just be like him, be good to the core like him!

 

Alas! Life moves on, you grow up and ever so often, the onset of

adulthood results in an uneasy calm, creeping up all around you. Life

becomes more of a Pandora’s box rather than the rainbow hues of your

childhood! You start questioning the relevance and validity of all

the lessons you had so painstakingly learnt. You start struggling

with the huge effort involved in living upto the image you have

carved out of your childhood values. The cause-and-effect cascades of

life leave you gasping for breath. In trying to conform to a new set

of values, you try to please every one! There is a constant tug-of-

war between definition of good thrust upon you by others and what is

your perception of good! Confusing, isn’t it? So much so that you hit

upon a point where you start feeling bad for being good! Further

Confusion!!

 

To remove the cobwebs of ambiguity, isn’t it important to enlighten

the mind of one person who is responsible for your very existence?

Isn’t it so important to discover, nurture and nourish the person

inside you? It is so vital to stay connected to the voice that is

inside you and speaks the truth you need to hear at all times, no

matter what! But the sad part is that you lose touch with the person

inside you because you are so busy doing good to the world outside

you. Gradually the resources inside you start taking a beating, your

enthusiasm comes to a zilch and very soon your interpersonal

relationships hit a rock bottom too! After all what you don’t have,

you can’t give! The moment you lose touch with your three best

friends aka I, Me, & Myself everything else also seems to move away

into oblivion. Your dreams, ideas and desires all wither away. And

you are left holding and nursing an embittered albeit saddened soul.

Is it so hard to try and be good to yourself, without any guilt and

remorse? If you don’t think you are worth it then why would anyone

else?

 

(Taken from the Idead Exchange magazine for the month of May. The

author is Dr. Sujata Goyal)