AM I LESS IN BHAKTI ? WHY LORD DOES NOT APPEAR BEFORE ME AS WE WISHED

[Guest guest]

My Dear Bhagavat Banduvullara!,

 

This is the question that is haunting me for the last six

months.

 

AM I LESS IN BHAKTI? Why Lord does not appear before me as wished

and liked ?

 

The question must have been answered by many scriptures and it

suddenly sruck to me that may be due to Lord's Dayardra Hrudaya, He

is not appearing before me. I may sound eccentric . Let me be more

clear.

 

I wanted the Lord to appear before me as his Friend, Bhakta,

Brother-in-law Arjuna wanted after sanctioning him with Viswaroopa.

ie., with Chaturbhuja Soumya roopa.( Kireetinam Gadinam - Gita 11.46)

 

He will not sanction me that for He is full of Karuna.

 

Whenever I think of Him, of His kindness of giving me

everything best possible, parents, brothers, friends, Ardhangi, sons,

the job,the Satsangs, I just melt away start crying with joy before

HIM, thanking HIM, further more and wanted HIM. The Aarti is more and

more and He is not appearing before me. Why ? Why ?

 

Since He wants me to become STITHAPRAJNA, which I am not.

 

I melt away and start crying out for simple things, and If HE

comes before me in the form I wanted, perhaps I may die out of

BHAVAVESA, which the Lord does not want.

 

If HE comes before me, I should be able to perform Archana--

Argyam,(Wate to hands) Paadyam,(water to his feet), etc., and then

able to see HIM through my Soul, to my heart-content. Since I have

not attained the stage of STHITHAPRAJNA and Lord does not want me to

die of seeing HIM, perhaps, may be perhaps, HE is not appearing

before me.

 

When this thought dawned upon me, I thrilled and caught up

with more emotions and again started crying silently, but stopped.

The saintly thoughts came as whirlwind.

 

The God is with me, in me, around me, behind me, in front me,

and follows me everywhere, since He is omnipresent, so why I should

feel disappointed. I will try to become STITHAPRAJNA as envisaged and

ordained in HIS preachings in Gita.

 

His Holiness Shri Shri Shir Vidyaprakasandagiri Swamiji, in his

Commentary on Gita (GITA MAKARANDAM ) says, a Sadhaka should not get

disappointed since the Lord has not given His Darshan. The sadhaka

should get more and more resolved to attain the Stage of Stithprajna

and then, then only the Lord presents HIM SELF before you as and when

you want in whatever roopam you want. JAI KARUNA SAMUDRA, GOVINDA

GOVINDA. JAI SRIMANNARAYANA.