AN UPLIFTING AND INTIMATE ACCOUNT BY A DEVOTEE OF HER JOB IN THE KITCHEN

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AN UPLIFTING AND INTIMATE ACCOUNT BY A DEVOTEE OF HER JOB IN THE

KITCHEN AT SRI RAMANASRAMAM

 

Subbalaksmi Ammal, a Brahmin widow, got Ramana Maharshi's blessings

when only sixteen, but came to his fold after 15 years and served as

a cook at the Ashram for a number of years.

 

After losing my husband at the age of 16, I went back to my mother's

house, devoting my life in prayer and meditation. While returning

from a pilgrimage from Rameshwaram with my mother, we stopped at

Tiruvannamalai. When we went up the hill, Sri Ramana was sitting

outside the Virupaksha Cave. He was about thirty at the time and

wonderful to behold. His eyes were blooming and clear, like the

petals of a lotus, and he shone brightly like burnished gold. I was

at once convinced that the god Arunachala himself had come in a

human form. We returned to Nellore. I did not even dream at that

time that my life would be spent at the feet of this swami.

Fifteen years later, again on our return from the pilgrimage we

stopped at Tiruvannamalai and enquired about the swami, who was now

living at the foot of the hill. He was sitting on a couch in the

hall. We sat in silence for about ten minutes before him, which

gave me an unforgettable experience of mental stillness. Away from

him, I spent most of the next year vainly trying to free myself from

thoughts. When I chanced to go to the Ashram again, I went to the

hall. No one else being there, I gathered courage and asked, " What

is atma? " Bhagavan replied, " To remain without thinking is atma. "

Then he looked at me and I felt my mind melt away into nothing. No

thoughts came. Only the feeling of immense unutterable peace was

there.

One day Bhagavan's own sister asked me to take her place in the

Ashram kitchen because she had to leave for sometime. I could not

refuse. At that time Shantammal was the chief cook and my duty was

to help her. To my great joy I discovered that Bhagavan worked with

us in the kitchen for most of the time. He soon taught me how to

cook tastily and neatly.

Once Bhagavan was grinding the dhal. It was heart-rending to see

him do so. Yet I did not have the courage to take his place lest he

may stop coming to the kitchen. That was far more important to us

than anything else. Later, when he asked me to take over I was

happy thinking that the Swami had got some relief. But when I went

into the kitchen, I saw him standing near the fire preparing some

dish. He was sweating profusely. A boiling vegetable piece fell on

his hand causing it to swell. When asked about it he joked, " Don't

you know? It is my special ring. "

Sometime later, I felt overburdened with work. I wanted to sit

quietly and meditate in solitude. I went back to my village, but my

heart was really at Ramanasramam. At home, it seemed to me that I

was wasting my time.

On a festival day at the Ashram, Bhagavan announced, " Today

Subbalakshmi will turn up. Keep some pongal for her. " Bhagavan's

prediction was correct; that was the day I returned to the Ashram,

unannounced, after a year. In the weeks and months that followed I

wanted to leave the Ashram many times, but Bhagavan held on to me

far more powerfully than I held on to him.

I used to fast quite often. I had read : " He who wants to know

himself and yet pays attention to his body is like a man who trusts

a crocodile to take him across a river. " When I showed the text to

Bhagavan, he said, " It does not mean that you should starve. It

only means that you should not give the body more than it needs.

With your mind, hold on to the enquiry [Who am I?] and just keep

the body going on so that it does not become a hindrance. For this,

fresh food, simply prepared and taken in moderation is a great help. "

Bhagavan disliked being given preference in any form. For example,

he would refuse to eat pappadams, if out of our love, we selected a

bigger one for him. Torn between attachment and obedience, we felt

lost. When our Lord wanted to be treated as equal with the

humblest, we felt ourselves to be the smallest of the small.

During the meal I would pour rasam into Bhagavan's hands. He would

sip it, and when his palms were empty I would fill them again. One

day he asked me to pour rasam over the rice and go. I thought I had

offended him in some way and asked Shantammal [A co-worker] to find

out the reason. Bhagavan told her, " When she serves me slowly, she

make others wait. " Despite my protests and requests, he never took

rasam again in his palms.

He would ruthlessly sacrifice the little comforts we so loved to

provide for him, as soon as he noticed a trace of preference. The

law that what cannot be shared must not be touched was supreme in

his way of dealing with us. Separate and exclusive feelings are the

cause of `I' and therefore the greatest obstacles in the realisation

of the Self. No wonder he was exterminating them so relentlessly.

Bhagavan loved retelling incidents from old devotional classics.

His face would light up as he recounted the amazing stories of

saints of long ago. He would be visibly moved when he recited their

inspired poetry.

With children, Bhagavan was their playmate; to family people he was

a wise counsellor; to pandits he was a well of knowledge; and to

yogis, the God of victory. Everyone who came to him with a sense of

devotion was charmed by his love and kindness, his beauty and his

wisdom, and by the overwhelming sense of unity he radiated. Crowds

would gather around him and each one would see him differently.

One afternoon a lady visitor sat near Bhagavan and exclaimed, " How

glad I am that I have met you, Swami! I have been desperate to see

you for such a long time, Swami. Please be kind enough to give me

salvation. That is all I want. I want nothing else. " After she

left, Bhagavan had a hearty laugh and said, " Look at her! Is

salvation something to be handed over on request? Do I keep bundles

of salvation concealed about me that I can give away when people

ask? She said, `I do not want anything else.' If what she says is

true, that itself is salvation. "

Though Bhagavan did not mind our faults and mistakes, he made us

follow his instructions to the letter. While he was in the kitchen,

he was one of us; but in the hall, seated on the sofa, he was the

great Lord of Kailas. While in the hall he belonged to everybody,

but when he came to the kitchen, he belonged only to us.

I had the habit of offering to Bhagavan a few dried grapes whenever

I came from the town. One day, when I gave him my usual offering,

he got vexed and said, " Why all this show of respect and devotion?

Can't you be just natural? What is needed is a pure and sincere

heart. "

Bhagavan would take any amount of trouble to teach us the virtues

necessary for self-discovery. Our life at the Ashram was a school

of yoga, and a hard school too. Through the trifles of daily life

he taught us Vedanta both in theory and practice. We were changed

to the root of our being, not knowing the depth and scope of his

influence.

Bhagavan would make the small tasks of daily life into avenues that

led to light and bliss. We experienced ecstasy in grinding, rapture

in cooking, and joy in serving iddlis to devotees. Why? Because

while we were doing these things, we were experiencing the state in

which the mind is in the Heart. One who has not experienced this,

cannot really know how much bliss a human heart can contain.

Lord Krishna, in his mercy, became a cowherd to teach simple

milkmaids the way to salvation. Similarly, Bhagavan, the same

Supreme Being in another form, took to cooking in order to save a

few ignorant women. (Source: Unforgettable Years by A.R. Natarajan

and Sri Ramana Jyothi, Hyerabad, Dec. 1981.)

 

 

It is we who have put our hands before our eyes, and cry that it

is dark. Just take the hands away to see the light. – Swami

Vivekananda

 

 

The universe is not only queerer than you imagine, it's queerer than

you can imagine.- J.B.S. Haldane, British scientist.

 

There are two rules on the spiritual path: Begin and

Continue. – A Sufi saying

 

The spiritual man does not hoard. The more he does for others, the

more he owns himself. –Anonymous

 

 

We are not the individual wave of consciousness separated from the

sea of cosmic consciousness, but the ocean of consciousness itself. –

Hariharananda

 

Self-realisation is for the strong and courageous who can sacrifice

their ego on the alter of Truth. - Hariharananda

 

The whole universe is the diffused energy of the Supreme Brahman. As

light shows a difference, according to its nearness or distance from

the fire, so is there is a variation in the energy of the impersonal

Brahman. Brahma, Vishnu and Siva are His chief energies. – Vishnu

Purana

 

SACRED RITUALS: The ritual of worship is not a mere physical

exercise but a real means through which a communication between the

Self and the Supreme is established. For example, the lighting of

the lamp is conducive to the attainment of knowledge, the incense

conveys reverence, and the flower offering represents devotion. –

Yogananda

 

Siva is not a name but a quality. It means Auspicious or the

Auspicious one. – Anonymous

 

prof laxmi narain (prof_narain)

 

Source and courtesy: Sri Ramana Kendram, Hyderabad

This article was published in Sri Ramana Jyothi,

monthly magazine of the Kendram.