THE HIDDEN LIGHT (BY YOGI SATYARKA)

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THE HIDDEN LIGHT (BY YOGI SATYARKA)

 

A boy was playing with an image. I was attracted to it; since the face

was familiar to me. For it was at his age that the face recognized me

and the heart hidden in that. I asked the boy whose image it was. " It is my Sai

Baba! " said the young boy. I was taken by surprise. I had seen Baba's pictures

and read all the works glorifying his greatness by the curtsey of my revered

friend, Sri B.V. Narasimha Swamiji, the

sai-chaitanya. The face in the image steeped me into a deep reverie and made me

a boy again.

 

From tender boyhood, I had the gift of poetry and music and I devoted

both to sing the praise of God and God alone. To be a saintly Yogi was

my passion; so I took to living in temples and solitary groves more than at home

and in school. I neglected secular education and I hated the huddled classroom

and the Sir who was a miniature Tzar. The result was, as the reader can imagine,

that the teacher's cane and the father's hands were after me constantly to

belabour me soundly. My only friend and sympathiser was my grand father's

brother who was a true saint, an ascetic, a Shankarite.One day I wept out my

grievances to him and he consoled me with his brief pithy gems of advice:

 

I: Bhagavan Father beats me.

He: child, there is a Father who is all-love; seek him.

I: where is He?

He: Here (touching my heart)

I: Bhagavan, Mother is angry with me.

He: Child there is a Mother who is all-kindness; seek her

I: Where is she?

He: First meet her there in the temple- Meenakshi is her name; Send all

your filial love towards her! She will protect you.

I: Bhagavan, the teacher beats me often with his cane.

He: Child, there is a teacher who will teach you all very kindly.

I: Where is He?

He: Be devoted to the Father and the Mother and they will send you the

teacher.

I: Bhagavan, I do not like the lessons; these books are nonsense. They

do not satisfy hunger.

He: Child, there is a knowledge beyond books and classrooms. That alone

can satisfy you.

I: Please tell me what it is and where to acquire that Knowledge.

He: Child, wait for the Teacher and He will subtly teach you that

Knowledge.

The words of this saint greatly impressed me. Though I went on with my

English Education by parental compulsion, my heart was yearning for The

Knowledge, which an illumined Master alone can give. Except the five trying

hours in the classroom, all my time was devoted to unconscious Sadhana- singing

the Lord's name, calling for the learned and the holy ones. I was anxiously

waiting for the imaged Master.

One day, home was heavy to the school and me too. As usual, I restored

to a solitary grove far away from the noise and buzzle of the town

atmosphere. There was a big lake quite near the grove. Ducks were

swimming on its tranquil surface. A song sprung from heart and my spirit flowed

into tears; tears, drop by drop, fell into the calm waters of the lake and

created ripples after ripples:

" The ducks swim free from care

Upon the sun-lit waters,

Calm as the morning charm!

Shall not my love for Thee

Swim in the heart's lake

Unruffled by stormy tears,

Even like that duck my Beloved! "

 

I sang aloud this song, and it must have reached the Divine and here he was in

human form! From the heart of the thick grove emerged a strange figure, He came

and sat by my side. Surprised, I stood up. He smiled and spoke in a voice that

at once made a record in my heart. He spoke broken Tamil and then Telugu;

since I knew Telugu very well, I spoke to him in that sweet language.

He: Bhcha, your song comes out of light.

I: Sadhuji, I see only the sun light and not the inner light.

He: He will kindle it soon, my boy, why do you weep?

I: Weeping I came, swimming in tears, I go to my unknown destiny.

He: I seek the One who alone can comfort me, Sadhuji. Where is He?

He: He is everywhere and comes through any body; He is with you, nearer than

your breath, fear not, child. He is all-merciful.

I: Here alone, in communion with Him, I have no fear, Sir. There the

moment I breathe the mob atmosphere, my spirit trembles with fright. The

teacher's cane, brother's repression, the mockery of the so-called

friends, the sins seeing series of anger, quarrel, the sin of hearing

wrathful words, the sight of meat-eaters and the vanity of human

manners- all these chill me with tremendous fear. Is there any way out?

 

(To be contd...)

Source Sai Sudha Aug 1944