Do you find it hard to nurture yourself?

[Guest guest]

Amongst the stress and demands that accumulate in our busy lives, some

of us easily forget to take care of ourselves. We may have a great

many good intentions, but often we end up frustrating ourselves by

putting things off that require our attention. This frustration grows

as do the unfinished tasks left unchecked on our to-do lists. With so

much demanding our attention, the first thing that gets sacrificed is

taking care of our individual selves.

 

Why people neglect themselves?

Common sense supports that any tool that is continually used without

proper maintenance becomes worn and unfit for the job! So why do so

many people not take the time to nurture themselves? What might be

getting in your way includes:

 

• Not taking care of yourself may be a lifelong pattern, with taking

care of others an easier option! In other words simply too busy

meeting the needs of others that you neglect taking care of yourself.

• Some beliefs such as: " I am not deserving of care " , " If I don't do

it, no one will " , " If I do it right, I will get the love, attention,

and respect I deserve "

• Self-nurturance is often confused with selfindulgence and our

society doesn't give much recognition for being self-indulgent. The

difference is that `Indulgence' is something unnecessary & excessive

whereas `Nurturance' is something nourishing & caring.

• Inability to set appropriate boundaries and pushing ourselves too hard

• Some consider it as being selfish if you put your needs first

• Trouble asking for what you need and feeling inadequate asking for help.

• Sometimes we continually attempt to do what cannot be done, to

control what cannot be controlled. The result is feelings of continued

failure and frustration and, often, an inclination to ignore our own

needs.

 

Here is a list of actions to helpyou help yourself!

 

- Listen to your body: Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Acknowledge

your own needs as important.

- Re-evaluate how you use your time. Be objective in your assessment

of who you really are, feel good about yourself and receive the credit

(from you) that you really deserve.

- Take care of yourself physically – eat healthily, sleep well and

exercise.

- Know and respect your limits and levels of tolerance.

- Include yourself on the list of people you are taking care of. Take

some time to do something just for yourself every day; things that

create a sense of joy, passion and well-being; things that are

realistic and do not necessarily take a lot of time or money. E.g.:

gardening, chocolate, swimming, playing, rainy days spent in bed

reading, a walk in the park….

- Create appropriate boundaries between your work and your home

life. However committed you are to your work, take time off and be a

person apart from your job.

- Nurture your emotions by recognizing and expressing your

feelings.

- Give yourself permission to say " No " when you need to. Sometimes we

have more on our plates than we can adequately manage. Some

relationships can be physically draining and emotionally demanding. We

often want to please others and " carry " people who drain and distract

us. Reexamine whether you are taking on more than is appropriate.

- Invest time and energy in personal development when you feel it

would be beneficial.

 

Self-Care: You owe it to yourself and those you love, to take good

care of your most valuable resource – YOU!

 

Benefits of Self-Care

• Enhances well-being: Taking time out to care for yourself can remind

you and others that your needs are important, too. Having a

well-cared-for body can make you feel good about yourself and your

life, and conveys to others that you value yourself.

• Self Care Makes You a Better Caretaker: Taking time to care for

yourself regularly can make you a better caretaker for others. Also,

people tend to treat you about as well as you treat yourself. When you

value yourself, people tend to value you more.

• Helps to find solutions: Spending some time alone is important for

most people's functioning. When you're relaxing by yourself, it's much

easier to slip into a state of quiet relaxation, enjoy some

self-reflection

 

It is not selfish to focus on your own needs and desires.