Forgiveness a noble human quality

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" If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive " . - Mother

Theresa

Forgiveness works! It is often difficult, AND it works!

We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done

us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at

something.You focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has

wronged you. To not forgive them is like taking the poison

(continuing to suffer for what they did or didn't do to you) and

expecting THEM to die!

 

Alexander Pope once said, " To err is human; to forgive, Divine. "

Believe it!

 

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you

do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply

identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: " Am I willing

to waste my energy further on this matter? " If the answer is " No, "

then that's it! All is forgiven.

 

Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a

better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your

hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to

give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe

in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you

can survive the pain and grow from it. Forgiveness has little or

nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal

matter.

 

Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive

AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the

anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life

miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the

betrayer claim one more victim.

 

There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!

 

" The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the

strong. "

Mahatma Gandhi

 

Another misconception is that it depends on whether the person who

did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or changes his or her ways.

If another person's poor behavior were the primary determinant for

your healing then the unkind and selfish people in your life would

retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of

finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by

another.

 

 

When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. How about an

affair? Just because you choose to forgive, does not mean you have to

stay in the relationship. That is only and always your choice. The

choice to forgive is only and always yours.

 

When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive

for " their " sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would

come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that

some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do not

NEED to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it - except

for the consequences, which THEY must live with.

 

The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that

produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years.

Don't rush it. Constantly reliving your wounded feelings gives the

person who caused you pain power over you. Instead of mentally

replaying your hurt, it helps to focus your energy on the healing,

not the hurt!

 

Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the

wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life.

It's the only way. It means cutting them some slack.

 

" What? " you say! " Cut them some slack after what THEY did to me?

Never! " Let go! Move on!

 

Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive

can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and

delivers you from depression. It can enhance your self-esteem and

give you hope.

 

Forgive and forget is a myth. You may never forget AND you can choose

to forgive. As life goes on and you remember, then is the time to

once again remember that you have already forgiven. Mentally forgive

again if necessary, then move forward. When we allow it, time can

dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt; the memory will fade.

Always remember that you are human. Sometimes people do and say

hurtful things. It is important to focus on what you have done to

learn from the experience.

 

" In this life. . . we are unable to forget whatever remains

unforgiven. So, if we won't let go of some pain - whose time has now

past - then who is to blame for the weight of this burden still being

carried on our back? "

 

Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the

past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not

forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future

can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury.

 

There is no future in the past. You can never live in the present and

create a new and exciting future for yourself and your love partner

if you always stay stuck in the past.

 

Begin again! It is truly impossible to start new and to make clear,

healthy, life giving choices until we have let go of past hurts,

confusion and resentments. Old wounds have a drawing power and pull

our attention to them over and over, taking energy and hope from us,

preventing us from starting again. Old wounds raise fearful spectres

of the same thing happening again in the future. For this reason it

is so important to spend time understanding the true nature of

forgiveness, and what it really entails.

 

To forgive means to " give up " , to let go. It also means to restore

oneself to basic goodness and health. When we forgive, we are willing

to give up resentment, revenge and obsession. We are willing to

restore faith not only in ourselves, but in life itself. The

inability or unwillingness to do this, causes harm in the one who is

holding onto the anger.

 

If you are at war with others you cannot be at peace with yourself.

You CAN let go. . . and forgive! It takes no strength to let go. . .

only courage. Life either expands or contracts in direct proportion

to your courage to forgive. Your choice to forgive or not to forgive

either moves you closer to what you desire or further away from it.

There is no middle ground. Change is constant.

 

Want peace of mind? Forgive. The same energy you use to hold on (to

not forgive), is the same energy you need to create a new and

exciting relationship TOGETHER; a relationship anchored in

unconditional love.

 

Forgiveness is the most important single process that brings peace to

our soul and harmony to our life. All of us, at some point in our

lives, have been hurt and wounded by the actions or words of another.

Sometimes the grievances have been so great we thought, " no way, this

I cannot forgive! " Resentment and hostility can run so deep that

forgiveness becomes very difficult. We feel we have a right to our

indignation!

 

However, living from resentment takes so much effort. It creates a

tremendous void in and around us. All the toxic feelings of hatred

and resentment stay bottled up inside and eventually seep into all

the areas of our life with the result that we become bitter, angry,

unhappy and frustrated. And so, living from forgiveness becomes a

necessity. Not that this is easy; it isn't. But we cannot keep

ourselves in the flow of good if we hold another in unforgiveness.

 

Forgiveness is not something we have to do, but something we must

allow to flow through us. When we step away from the consciousness of

our human nature, and allow the divine or God's grace to express

through us, to forgive through us, we can at that point, feel the

radiant and warm rays of the flow of divine love dissolving all hurt,

all bitterness, all sense of injustice. We become aware that we are

free and we can project that love outward into our world.

 

Forgiveness helps you move forward. No one benefits from forgiveness

more than the one who forgives!

 

Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. The very word forgiveness is

built on the root word give. Forgiveness releases your partner from

your criticism and also releases you from being imprisoned by your

own negative judgments. It is not surrender, but a conscious decision

to cease to harbor resentment. In affect, it takes the poison our of

your body. It cleanses your system of the poison that will surely

fester and cause illness and continued misery if not released. You

cannot take the poison and expect someone else to die. They will go

on with their life and you will be the only one to continue to

suffer.

 

" You know you have forgiven someone when he or she has harmless

passage through your mind " . - Rev. Karyl Huntley

Forgiveness is the key to your own happiness. Forgiving someone else

takes moral courage. It ends the illusion of separation, and its

power can change misery into happiness in an instant. Forgiveness

means choosing to let go, move on, and favor the positive.

 

Forgiveness is a form of love within the context of a personal

crisis. To forgive is, in a sense, to love one's enemy. When

forgiveness is given because you think you should, it no longer is

forgiveness but an act of self- interest.

 

The act of forgiveness constitutes a mental bath, letting go of

something that can only poison us within.

 

Robert Enright, a developmental psychologist at the University of

Wisconsin defines forgiveness as " giving up the resentment to which

you are entitled and offering to the person who hurt you friendlier

attitudes to which they are not entitled. "

 

Mona Gustafson Affinito says, " Forgiveness means deciding not to

punish a perceived injustice, taking action on that decision, and

experiencing the emotional relief that follows. "

 

It is important to recognize that your distress is coming from the

hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not

what offended you or hurt you five minutes ago or five years ago.

Research has shown that people who are deeply and unjustly hurt by

others can heal emotionally and, in some cases, physically by

forgiving their offender.

 

Forgiveness breaks the cycle of hatred, resentment, anger and pain

that is often passed on to those around you. Forgiveness helps you

make peace with your past.

 

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. The only people you should ever

want to get even with are those who have helped you.

 

Forgiveness. What it's for? It creates the freedom to create a new

future beginning now!

 

Researchers and academics may have an answer for those who do not

believe that the act of forgiveness is good for the soul. Scientists

have gotten interested in the health benefits of forgiveness. Their

studies have shown the serious mental, emotional and physical

consequences of an unforgiving heart.

 

In some studies, forgiveness has been linked to a lessening of

chronic back pain and depression; in others to reduce levels of

stress hormones. Scientist have also found that forgiveness is one of

several coping mechanisms that help people with HIV/AIDS live longer,

or at least more satisfying lives.

 

" Love is an act of endless forgiveness. - Peter Ustinov

 

" Genuine forgiveness is participation, reunion overcoming the powers

of estrangement. . . We cannot love unless we have accepted

forgiveness, and the deeper our experience of forgiveness is, the

greater is our love " . - Paul Tillich

 

" To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return,

you will receive untold peace and happiness " . - Robert Muller

 

" You know you have forgiven someone when he or she has harmless

passage through your mind " . - Rev. Karyl Huntley

 

" Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has

crushed it " . - Mark Twain

 

" Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much " . - Oscar

Wilde

 

" When you forgive, you essentially undo the ability to blame. " When

you stop blaming yourself, you start to like yourself and you're much

more fun to be around. You get your power back over your life. That

is the power of forgiveness " . - Eldon Taylor

 

" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness " . - Josh Billings

 

" The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the

strong " . - Mahatma Gandhi.

 

" When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that

person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.

Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free " .

Catherine Ponder

 

" One of the most lasting pleasures you can experience is the feeling

that comes over you when you genuinely forgive an enemy - whether he

know about it or not " . - A. Battista

 

" Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past " . - Alexa

Young

" Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of

resentment and retaliation " . Roberto Assagioli