WHAT IS GOD?

[Guest guest]

A posting from divine nature group

WHAT IS GOD?

 

When I was young, I thought that God was some kind of a judge who

was sitting somewhere beyond the moon and the stars, who was looking

at me and whatever I was doing. Sometimes I would think, may be God

is too busy to observe my tiny day to day actions. Why will God

bother himself with my daily routine? When I am doing something for

myself and not harming others, God will not bother about me. God

always observes us when we do something significant and different

from our daily routine etc. etc. I had heard that when we die, we

stand before someone on the gates of that God's land who measures

our good and bad deeds on some sort of balancing machine and we are

allowed to enter Gates of heaven when our good deeds out weigh our

bad deeds and Gates of Hell when bad deeds out number our good

deeds. Heaven is a beautiful and good place and Hell is very

dreadful. I was really scared of God and also of the punishment I

would get from him if I did something wrong. As I did not wish to

end up in Hell and being punished there, I would read holy

scriptures to find constituted good deeds and what are bad deeds.

It was so very difficult to understand them. Sometimes being good

to others hurts ourselves and our near dear ones while sometimes

being bad to others was good for someone else. It was so very

confusing. I always ended up thinking that when I died, I will be

punished because I was finding it so very difficult to keep everyone

happy and above all keep myself happy.

 

Later, I thought, there were number of Gods depending upon which

religion one follows and supposing one converts oneself into another

religion, the new God will take over. Being Hindu, I had heard

there are 84 lakhs Gods and Goddesses and I would wonder whom I

should pray to because each God represented one dominant trait. It

was all so confusing again. I would bow down before all Gods of

different religions and pray to them for giving me true knowledge on

the subject.

 

My elder son was 4-5 year old when he asked me innocently, `Mom, why

are we born?' and I was answer-less so I directed him to his

grandfather for the answer who replied, `Good question, when you

grow up you will come to know the answer'. Honestly, that day I

really felt so very foolish that I could not satisfy this query of

my son. What was the use of my academic qualification? We do not

get answer to such question in Science, Commerce or Arts books.

 

I started reading religious and spiritual books to find answer to

above question. I understand that our first aim in this life is

Self realization - realize that we are `pure soul' and not body and

our ultimate aim is God realization - strive to merge our soul with

the Divine Spirit. But still I was not sure of the answer to our

reason for existence or who and where is that divine spirit, we all

call God?

 

Many years later a tragedy struck my life and I was full of

questions myself on Where is God? What is the use of God in my

life? What can God do for me? Does God help me when I am

suffering? Do prayers work? Where do we go after we die? Where is

this heaven and hell? And this time I was not scared of any

punishment. I realized I had to refresh my thinking on the subject

and that my knowledge about God till date was all wrong. God is not

what I had been thinking for all these years or what I see in

pictures. These are all symbols or symbolic of God but God was

something else, much larger and beyond my so called earthly

perceptions. Now my younger son asked, `Why do we die?' This time

I wanted answers.

 

To overcome my grief, I started to meditate and as I was in so much

emotional pain, I guess, some cord of me struck the God and changed

my understanding of God. God was no longer a person with imaginable

human form. Thinking of God in human figure is initial stage of our

journey towards self realization. When we lose a loved one, only

the body is left behind and the energy giving life to that body goes

back into Universe. Nothing is lost. Heaven and Hell is just in

our thoughts. God is not sitting in judgement over anyone simply

because God is not separate from us. It is not God, it is US

judging ourselves and deciding each and every moment as to how we

are going to live our life

 

The best book for me turned out to be Sri Sai Satcharita (containing

life and teachings of Shirdi Sai Baba). First time, I read it, I

thought it was a very good story book containing life and leelas of

Shirdi Sai Baba. However, as time progressed I reaslised that with

every reading of Sai Satcharita I ended up finding something new in

it. Each time, I gained another significant layer of understanding

in my spiritual pursuit. There is so much indepth metaphysical

knowledge in this book that I still feel that I have not yet fully

understood. At so many places, Sadguru Saibaba has made us realize

that ALL ARE ONE. Translation of the Sanskrit shloka for Nana by

SaiBaba and explanation of `Brahman' to the rich gentleman (with

Tonga waiting in background) is so very enlightening and

mysterious. Each time I read these, I get significant understanding

of the God. How could Baba tell people what was happening in their

mind, or in their home so many miles away, unless he considered

himself one with them? Baba has given such a clear explanation of

God to Nana Chandorkar during his conversations with him. I have

read and reread the same. It quenches my thirst to some extent but

still I feel thirsty. How I wish I were present at that time.

 

Based on what I have read and experienced in my life so far, I feel

that God is infinite and limitless. God pervades everything in this

universe and beyond. God is sum total of all living and non living

things around us. God is everything we see, feel, experience or

touch. God is active and alive each and every second. God is in my

existence and I am in existence of God. God is energy that pulsates

and glows in all animate and inanimate creations around us.

Everything we sense around us is God. In fact, God is much more

because our understanding of God is limited by what we perceive

through our five senses. What about that part of God which our five

senses cannot recognize or register? It does not mean that IT does

not exist. Thus, I feel God is EVERYTHING and God is NOTHING. What

we can sense is God and what we cannot sense is also God. God is

pure existence, knowledge and bliss. All the Gods and Goddesses are

different pure qualities of nature which are blemish free. Nothing

is separate. God is in us and we are in God. ALL IS ONE. ALL IS

GOD AND GOD IS ALL. This is why it is said that though different

religions believe in different concept of God but in actual GOD IS

ONE. Once a human understands and internalises this concept, he

experiences, what we call as BLISS.

 

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi