Pujya Ramsukhdasji Maharaj

[Guest guest]

Root Cause of Disharmony in Family LIfe

 

Question: What is the root cause of quarrels, fights, lack of peace and lack of

harmony in the family?

 

Swamiji: Every human being wishes that things happen according to his

wishes. Each one is seeking favorable circumstances for himself. Each

one wants to fulfill his own desires. He wants to lead a relaxing,

comfortable and luxurious life. And he longs for his own glory. All in

all, he is seeking his own self interest and selfishness. Such

individuals due to their selfishness, are the cause of most quarrels,

fights, disquietude in the family. Even dogs play well together, until

the time food is served, at which time they begin to fight for food. The cause

of these fights in not the food, but the selfish nature.

 

In a household, those who only desire their own happiness and comfort

are not true family members, rather they are self-centered individuals.

 

A member of a family is he who wishes and works towards the welfare of

all the members, young, old, and all. Those who desire peace in the

family and do not wish any quarrels, they must see towards performing

their alloted duties, and at the same time protecting the rights of

others. They must do his assigned duties in life and engage in welfare

of others. They must honor and respect all members and provide happiness and

comfort to them all.

 

Questions: How to maintain love, happiness and peace in the family?

 

Swamiji: When a man forgets his main purpose and aim in life, then all

obstacles and calamities take place in the family. If his goal is firm

and alive that under all conditions he will be elevated spiritually and

otherwise. Then he does not concern himself with happiness or

adversity. Also he finds no difficulty in renouncing his selfishness and pride.

When one renounces selfishness and pride, then there is no

obstacles or disharmony in the relationship. The main impediments in any

relationship is when a person wants things to happen his way. He wants his words

to hold weight, his desires to be fulfilled or all are for his own self

interest.

 

On the other hand, when one thinks about how to do good for other

members, how to lead them to benediction, how to honor and provide

comfort for them, and he lives by imbibing these thoughts, then all

members of the family become happy. Even if sometimes a member becomes

displeased, his displeasure will not persist, becauses after giving some thought

he will realize that whatever has been done is only for their own welfare. As a

boy having an inclination to sports and games dislikes studies, but overall

understands that studying will do him good, similarly even if the person may not

initially understand, but he will certainly understand this in due course. Even

if later he does not understand, there is an inner satisfaction that the

intention and conduct was good and that he thought of his welfare. Moreover we

will have an inner strength that the point we expressed is true and solid.

 

If members live lovingly with one another, the atmosphere will be full

of peace and happiness and love manifests and evolves automatically by

renunciation of selfishness and pride.