HAVE YOU WATCHED THEM SLEEP?

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HAVE YOU WATCHED THEM SLEEP? Article written by Shakuntala Devi

 

I received a message on my Friendster account the other day. It was one of those

forwarded messages, the type I would usually scan briefly before hitting

" delete " .

 

But this message, written in Bahasa Malaysia, started with a simple question

that caught my attention A rough translation of it goes like this:

 

" Have you ever watched your parents as they are asleep? Your father's body once

big and strong but now, the big is withered and the strong weakened. Wisps of

grey peek out of his hair, wrinkles now " scar " on his forehead and face. "

 

" This man works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his

family is provided for and his children get the best education possible. "

 

" Or what about your mother, whose soft hands once cuddled and held you close

when you were a baby? Now, those hands are dry and rough, bearing evidence of

the challenges she faced just for us. "

 

" This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly nagging and scolding us

because of her love for us. But sadly, we often miscontrue her love as control

and unfairness. "

 

I have never thought of watching my parents while they slept. I've watched my

cousins sleep when they were babies, all round and cuddly and sweet smelling.

But watch my parents? No way!

 

But after reading this message, I realised that there is indeed much truth in

it. In fact, my parents don't have to be asleep for me to realise that they have

aged.

 

Just looking at my mother walk tells me that her legs are not as strong as they

were before. Or hearing for her to ask me to help with that flowerpot in the

garden, the one she used to be able to push and drag around the garden without

my help.

 

Or watching my dad lift a 10kg bag of rice. I can easily carry that now. I am

young. But to him, it is a struggle.

 

What do all these observations tell me? Yes, my parents have aged. They are

ageing, as I am ageing. But as I age towards my best years and become stronger,

they in turn are becoming weaker. They were once the caregiver and I the

receiver. In time, I know our roles will reverse. Like it or not, want it or

not, this is life.

 

I suppose I have always subconciously thought that my parents would always be

with me, never growing old. It took that message to make me realise that my

parents are not immortal. That they, too, will one day leave the world and me.

Until then, I will make good use of our time together.

 

By the way, I am forwarding that message to all my family and friends to remind

them to appreciate what they have now. It will not last.

 

Love them while you can or join me in regretting that I didn't.