A mother's sacrifice

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A mother's sacrifice

 

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. My mom

ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to

sell... Anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There

was this one day

during elementary school.

 

I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How

could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful

look and ran out. The next day at school... " Your mom only has one eye?! " and

they taunted me. I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I

said to my mom, " Mom, why don't you have

the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughingstock. Why don't you just

die? " My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time,

it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.

 

Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had

hurt her feelings very badly.

 

That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom

was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I

took a look at her, and then turned away.

 

Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at

me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of

her one eye. So I told myself that I would

grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate

poverty.

 

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and

got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had.

 

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm

living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that

doesn't remind me of my mom.

 

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to

see me " What?! Who's this?! " ...It was my mother...Still with her one eye. It

felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away,

scared of my mom's eye.

 

And I asked her, " Who are you? I don't know you!!! " as if I tried to make that

real. I screamed at her " How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!

GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!! " And to this, my mother quietly answered, " oh, I'm so

sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address, " and she disappeared. Thank good

ness... She doesn't

recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care,

or think about this for the rest of my life.

 

Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school

reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a

business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to

call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold

ground. But I did not shed a single tear.

 

She had a piece of paper in her hand.... It was a letter to me.

 

 

She wrote:

 

My son...

 

I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul anymore...

But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a

while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad

when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the

school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an

embarrassment for you.

 

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one

eye... So I gave you mine...I was so proud

of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were

angry with me.

 

I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were

still young around meI miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.

 

My world shattered!!!

 

Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother.