For older people

[Guest guest]

For older people

 

Jack and Jill jogged up the hill,

Their breath came faster and faster.

 

Before the top They made a stop,

Narrowly averting a myocardial disaster.

 

Jack tried to nimble,He tried to be quick

He shot hoops with young guys and ruptured a disc.

 

Oh where Oh where has my estrogen gone?

Oh where Oh where can it be?

 

I was once young and fair

Now I sprout facial hair

Oh hormones please

come back to me.

 

Poor Mrs Fifty Was not feeling nifty

Eating her low-fat Swiss cheese.

 

When she was fwenty She used to eat plenty

And never gained weight round her knees.

 

Tinkle tinkle in a jar

Yearly check-up here you are.

My LDL is much too high

I;m sure my pressure's reached the sky.

Why his finger up so far?

I wish I would never left my car.

 

Middle-aged Mervin went to the surgeon

To affix to his scalp some new hair

 

But when he awoke

He looked worse than a joke

And he wished that he'd left his head bare

 

I wrinkle I crinkle

I no longer twinkle,How did this come so soon?

 

Just yesterday I was thirty-one

I'm fifty-four next June.

 

Stock market ,stock market I'm down on my knees

tou've got to recover

I'm begging you please.

 

I'd gotten used to easy cash

My wife and I had quite a stash.

 

Stock market,stock market

Please go higher

If you crash we can never retire.