THE POWER OF POSITIVE TALK- By the GREAT Dr. ABDUL KALAM

[Guest guest]

THE POWER OF POSITIVE TALK- By the GREAT Dr. ABDUL KALAM

 

I remember my dadteaching me the power of language at a very young age.

Not only did mydad understand that specific words affect our mental

 

pictures,

but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong

 

success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a

kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around

upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no

surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging

back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree

could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so

high.

 

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on

the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also

noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust

of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle

and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind

yell, " Bart, Hold on tightly. " So I did.

The next thing I know, I

heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the

ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell

and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind,

she yelled out, " Tammy, don't fall! " And Tammy did. fall.

 

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time

processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal

pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process

the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first

imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just

imagined.

Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal

image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a

habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only

way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a

word for what you want to do and visualize that.

For example, when I

was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football

team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together

at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was

running out for a pass, " Don't drop it! " Naturally, I dropped the

ball.

 

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper " self-talk. "

They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll

never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football

player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me

to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just

climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

 

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends

the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil.

Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them,

" Okay, try to drop the pencil. " Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor.

You respond, " You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the

pencil. Now please do it again. " Most people then pick up the pencil

and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but

fails to drop the pencil.

 

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will " give it a try, " you are actually

telling your brain to fail. I have a " no try " rule in my house and

with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't.

Either they will be at the party or they won't.

I'm brutal when people

attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know

they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of

doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended

effort? You will never hear the words " I'll try " come out of my mouth

unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

 

If you " try " and do something, your unconscious mind has permission

not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the

truth. " Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not.

I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be

here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite. "

People respect honesty. So remove the word " try " from your vocabulary.

 

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen

positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea

if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen

compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.