Weekend Humour : )

August 3, 2002

Although this list is devoted to spiritual matters from time to time

we take the liberty of posting some humour................jay

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Church Notices : )

CHURCH PARKING - FOR MEMBERS ONLY!

Trespassers will be baptized.

" No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace. "

" Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. "

An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone

tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a

headline that reads, - " For Fast Relief, Take Two Tablets. "

" People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water

before you know how strong they are. "

" Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush. "

" Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily. "

" How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-Smoking. "

" Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives. "

" Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long

and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. "

" It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin. "

" If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns. "

" If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again. "

" A ch__ch is a church when (U R) in it.

" In the dark? Follow the Son. "

" Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up. "

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Equal " is not always synonymous with " the same. "

Men and women are created equal.

But, boys and girls are not born the same.

If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy

accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age.

At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you

turn off the VCR after they've watched " Teenage Mutant Ninja

Turtles " three times in a row.

Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

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